Clean jokes - post 'em here

The light-hearted side of life
kevinchess1
Posts: 23770
Joined: Mon Jun 28 2010 11:02pm
Location: Miles away from the sea
Has thanked: 12599 times
Been thanked: 17167 times
Contact:

Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by kevinchess1 » Sun Apr 02 2017 12:04am

I says to mackem 'Happy birthday :thumbup: Got you a present.

'A boomerang :?: Why did you buy me that?
'It's to help you get your belt on :lol:
Politically incorrect since 69

kevinchess1
Posts: 23770
Joined: Mon Jun 28 2010 11:02pm
Location: Miles away from the sea
Has thanked: 12599 times
Been thanked: 17167 times
Contact:

Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by kevinchess1 » Mon Apr 03 2017 5:25pm

raich asked me if I wanted to wind Leo?

I thought that was a bit harsh so I just gave him a dead leg instead.
Thanked by: 1960mackem, xxxraichxxx
Politically incorrect since 69

kevinchess1
Posts: 23770
Joined: Mon Jun 28 2010 11:02pm
Location: Miles away from the sea
Has thanked: 12599 times
Been thanked: 17167 times
Contact:

Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by kevinchess1 » Wed Apr 05 2017 4:54pm

Mackem at the doctors
'You've going to have to give up Burgers, beer and hand rolled cigarettes!'
'But why?' howls mackem
'Because i'm trying to examine you.'
Thanked by: 1960mackem
Politically incorrect since 69

Chadwick
Posts: 2435
Joined: Mon Jul 05 2010 4:21pm
Has thanked: 1234 times
Been thanked: 2583 times
Contact:

Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by Chadwick » Thu Apr 06 2017 11:55am

I poured root beer into a square glass.

Now I've just got beer.
Thanked by: kevinchess1

kevinchess1
Posts: 23770
Joined: Mon Jun 28 2010 11:02pm
Location: Miles away from the sea
Has thanked: 12599 times
Been thanked: 17167 times
Contact:

Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by kevinchess1 » Thu Apr 06 2017 5:24pm

Mourinho has promised Man United fans that they will be in a major European competition next year.

Even if he has to write the song himself
Thanked by: Mel
Politically incorrect since 69

kevinchess1
Posts: 23770
Joined: Mon Jun 28 2010 11:02pm
Location: Miles away from the sea
Has thanked: 12599 times
Been thanked: 17167 times
Contact:

Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by kevinchess1 » Thu Apr 06 2017 11:23pm

Pub quiz type fact;
Gymnasium means 'Naked exercise' in Ancient greek
But they still though me out of Fitness First
Last edited by kevinchess1 on Fri Apr 07 2017 2:19pm, edited 1 time in total.
Politically incorrect since 69

Chadwick
Posts: 2435
Joined: Mon Jul 05 2010 4:21pm
Has thanked: 1234 times
Been thanked: 2583 times
Contact:

Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by Chadwick » Fri Apr 07 2017 1:11pm

I've got a new job, helping one-handed typists.

It's shift work.
Thanked by: kevinchess1

kevinchess1
Posts: 23770
Joined: Mon Jun 28 2010 11:02pm
Location: Miles away from the sea
Has thanked: 12599 times
Been thanked: 17167 times
Contact:

Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by kevinchess1 » Fri Apr 07 2017 2:45pm

Luke on a blind date at the resturant looking at the wine list
Do you like Merlot, Tammy?
"Yeah but you don't pronounce the T"
Ok *looks at waiter* 2 Merlots for me and ammy
Thanked by: adamred6
Politically incorrect since 69

kevinchess1
Posts: 23770
Joined: Mon Jun 28 2010 11:02pm
Location: Miles away from the sea
Has thanked: 12599 times
Been thanked: 17167 times
Contact:

Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by kevinchess1 » Sun Apr 09 2017 8:49pm

The Atheist Society.
Is it a non-prophet organisation.?
Politically incorrect since 69

kevinchess1
Posts: 23770
Joined: Mon Jun 28 2010 11:02pm
Location: Miles away from the sea
Has thanked: 12599 times
Been thanked: 17167 times
Contact:

Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by kevinchess1 » Mon Apr 10 2017 10:48am

If you ever feel like your job is meaningless..

Just remember..

Sunderland FC employ a trophy polisher
Thanked by: Mel, 1960mackem
Politically incorrect since 69

Locked

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 9 guests