Clean jokes - post 'em here

[kevinchess1]

My girlfriend says I’m hopeless at fixing appliances.

Well, she’s in for a shock.

[kevinchess1]

A joke is like a frog.
When you dissect it, it dies. Get it? Just like a frog dies when you dissect it, so does a joke when you explain it. Basically, the frog is used as an analogy, to help people understand that jokes shouldn't be explained, because the joke will die, or more specifically, become unfunny. So, just like when a frog dies when you dissect it, so does a joke when you dissect, or explain it.

[kevinchess1]

Midwife for sale.

Can deliver.

[Chadwick]

A joke is like a frog.
When you dissect it, it dies. Get it? Just like a frog dies when you dissect it, so does a joke when you explain it. Basically, the frog is used as an analogy, to help people understand that jokes shouldn't be explained, because the joke will die, or more specifically, become unfunny. So, just like when a frog dies when you dissect it, so does a joke when you dissect, or explain it.

I don't get it.

[kevinchess1]

Geologists are important for our understanding of rocks on Earth and on other planets. So never take them for granite.

[kevinchess1]

WHen Luke asked a librarian if she was free this afternoon, she said she was all booked up.

[kevinchess1]

Luke met his wife at Speed dating
He said 'WTF are you doing here?'

[kevinchess1]

Pep Guardiola asked me if I knew anywhere good for a holiday?

I told him you can't beat Monaco this time of year.

[kevinchess1]

Q,
What's Orange and looks really, really good on Northerners
A.
Fire

[kevinchess1]

Interviewer How good are you at Power Point?

Me: I Excel at it

'Was that a Microsoft Office pun?'

Me: Word