Over 18s jokes - post here

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Re: Over 18s jokes - post here

Post by kevinchess1 » Tue Jul 04 2017 6:36pm

Today a V attractive woman told Luke he had the body of a person much younger than him, and wanted to know his secret. However, his lawyer advised him not to answer the police woman's questions.
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Re: Over 18s jokes - post here

Post by kevinchess1 » Wed Jul 05 2017 11:05pm

JK Rowling talking about the 20th anniversary of Harry Potter.
I don't think anyone has milked a small wizard this much since Debbie Magee.
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Re: Over 18s jokes - post here

Post by kevinchess1 » Mon Jul 10 2017 3:38pm

I don't normally buy lads' magazines, but I saw one in the newsagents that had pictures from a nude photoshoot with Rita Ora. So I thought what the hell, I'll treat myself and splash out on a copy. That's me barred from WH Smiths for the foreseeable future.
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Re: Over 18s jokes - post here

Post by kevinchess1 » Wed Jul 12 2017 5:38pm

'I'm so very sorry...were you close at all?'
Perfectly acceptable statement to make at a funeral but not something you want to hear just after sex
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Re: Over 18s jokes - post here

Post by kevinchess1 » Sat Jul 15 2017 8:38am

A German shepherd just did a poo on my lawn :shock:
And then his sheep did :thumbdown:
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Re: Over 18s jokes - post here

Post by kevinchess1 » Fri Aug 11 2017 11:07pm

I asked my Dad what his views were about abortion. He said, "Ask your sister."

I replied, "But I don't have a sist......"
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Re: Over 18s jokes - post here

Post by kevinchess1 » Wed Aug 30 2017 11:32pm

I saw a prostitute with no arms.
I asked her if it affected her work or attitude in any way?

She said "I don`t give a toss"
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Re: Over 18s jokes - post here

Post by kevinchess1 » Thu Sep 07 2017 8:45pm

My daughter thinks that the bigger a man's feet, the bigger his c**k.

She doesn't half bring some clowns home.
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Re: Over 18s jokes - post here

Post by kevinchess1 » Tue Sep 19 2017 10:46pm

I was in bed last night pulling my boxers off when my girlfriend walked in and said please don't do that to the dogs!
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Re: Over 18s jokes - post here

Post by kevinchess1 » Wed Oct 11 2017 11:05pm

'There's no real difference between an actress and a whore.'

That's not a very good defence Mr Weinstein.
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