Christmas JOkes

The light-hearted side of life
kevinchess1
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Re: Christmas JOkes

Post by kevinchess1 » Tue Dec 12 2017 3:43pm

Last year I left my Christmas shopping too late and ended up getting it all done at a petrol station on Christmas morning.

I thought the limited selection would leave me in the doo dah but my 17-year-old daughter squealed with delight when she opened her ‘L’ plates and ran over to hug me.

I don’t know why she went out to look on the driveway though. :?:
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kevinchess1
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Re: Christmas JOkes

Post by kevinchess1 » Tue Dec 12 2017 10:46pm

Bought my mum a fridge for Christmas.

You should've seen her face light up when she opened it.
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kevinchess1
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Re: Christmas JOkes

Post by kevinchess1 » Wed Dec 13 2017 3:01pm

What is the difference between Snow men and Snow women...........

Snowballs :shock:
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kevinchess1
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Re: Christmas JOkes

Post by kevinchess1 » Wed Dec 13 2017 3:02pm

I've bought my wife a false leg for Christmas.

It's not her main present though.

It's just a stocking filler..... :lol:
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kevinchess1
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Re: Christmas JOkes

Post by kevinchess1 » Fri Dec 15 2017 8:10am

Why all the fuss about ASDA selling reindeer steaks this Christmas?
No one is complaining about the LIDL Donkey
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Re: Christmas JOkes

Post by kevinchess1 » Sun Dec 17 2017 11:00pm

Christmas Pub Quiz (No prize, just a bit of fun)

What begins with M and is drunk at Christmas?
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Re: Christmas JOkes

Post by kevinchess1 » Sun Dec 17 2017 11:00pm

Dear Santa,
Please send lots of warm clothes to all the naked ladies on Luke's computer.
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Re: Christmas JOkes

Post by kevinchess1 » Mon Dec 18 2017 9:42pm

How should you drain pasta at Christmas?
Using an Advent Colander.
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Chadwick
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Re: Christmas JOkes

Post by Chadwick » Tue Dec 19 2017 8:57am

Where does Jona Lewie do his Christmas shopping?

Debenebenhamnams
Debenemenhams
Debenhamnams
Debenhams
Debenemanhams



(Credit to Sanjeev Kohli for this one)
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1960mackem
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Re: Christmas JOkes

Post by 1960mackem » Tue Dec 19 2017 11:15am

kevinchess1 wrote:Christmas Pub Quiz (No prize, just a bit of fun)

What begins with M and is drunk at Christmas?

what ME - I'm just celebrating the anniversary of the 3 wise men and the Donkey
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