Imutalites Tales from the daft side

The light-hearted side of life
macliam
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Re: Imutalites Tales from the daft side

Post by macliam » Fri Mar 16 2018 4:49pm

kevinchess1 wrote:Is there a version in English?
Probably not. As we say Is fearr Gaeilge bhriste, ná Béarla cliste (Better broken Irish than clever English) :mrgreen:

Now the Irish for an Englishman is Sasanach (or saxon), but the word for the English language is Béarla. This comes from the phrase 'beal-ra', which meant 'something produced by the mouth' or often translated as gibberish. The language was originally sacs-béarla, so saxon gibberish.

Others note the similarity to the word beoir meaning beer. So maybe gibberish produced after drinking beer? Seems apt.

Sláinte is táinte! Image
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Re: Imutalites Tales from the daft side

Post by kevinchess1 » Thu Apr 05 2018 11:40pm

Mel says to me
'I know you're only joking kevin, but im worried that Imutalites will
think I'm aloof and i'm not, not in the least
Can you post and tell everyone i'm not condescending?
That's C O N D E S C E N D I N G!'
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Re: Imutalites Tales from the daft side

Post by kevinchess1 » Mon Apr 09 2018 11:24pm

Dear Luke
Thank you for your inquiry.
Unfortunately we are not a dating agency.

Yours faithfully

Screwfix
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Re: Imutalites Tales from the daft side

Post by kevinchess1 » Fri Apr 20 2018 8:08am

Luke wakes up next to a V attractive woman 'OMG!' he says 'I can't even remember, how far did we go?'
She looks out the window and replies 'About 3 stops!'
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Re: Imutalites Tales from the daft side

Post by blythburgh » Fri Apr 20 2018 8:45am

It is not true that mackem is work shy. He works every hard at doing nothing
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Re: Imutalites Tales from the daft side

Post by kevinchess1 » Thu Apr 26 2018 8:07am

Doctor ' Well. I cant find anything wrong with you Mr Mackem, I suspect the problem is heavy drinking!'
Mackem I'll come back when you sober then.'
Last edited by kevinchess1 on Thu Apr 26 2018 7:17pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Imutalites Tales from the daft side

Post by blythburgh » Thu Apr 26 2018 8:51am

kevinchess1 wrote:Doctor ' Well. I cant find anything wrong with you Mr Mackem, I suspect the problem is heavy drinking!'
Macem ; I'll come back when you sober then.'
When he got home and told his wife, Mrs Mackem said, in that case you will have to order 2 half pints at a time instead of a pint. That will stop the heavy bit as the glass will be lighter
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Re: Imutalites Tales from the daft side

Post by kevinchess1 » Wed May 23 2018 8:10am

Chadwick in the Gents, standing at the urinals next to Yoda
Yoda looks over and says 'Big is you!'
Chadwick replies 'No I'm not buying a magazine!'
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Re: Imutalites Tales from the daft side

Post by kevinchess1 » Tue May 29 2018 8:23pm

Macliam, Mel and Mackem are having a drink in the oub when the actual JESUS CHRIST walks in
They all send him over a drink, Jesus nods and smiles
As he leaves he shakes maclim by the hand and says 'Thank you for the Guiness.'
'Begorrah, Bejesus' says macliam 'For 60 years I've had arthritic knees from praying for forgiveness for my sins and now their cured! Tis a blaney miracle.'
'Thank you for the Babycham Mel ' Say Jesus shaking Mel's hand
'My goodness gracious me,' say Mel '25 years I've sat in front of my computer, correcting peoples grammar and now my plies are completely cured, It is indeed a miracle!'
'Thank you for the Newcastle Brown mackem' says Jesus stretching out his hand
'You get away from me' Says mackem backing away 'I'm on sickness benefit!'
Last edited by kevinchess1 on Wed May 30 2018 12:07am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Imutalites Tales from the daft side

Post by macliam » Tue May 29 2018 10:48pm

kevinchess1 wrote:Macliam, Mel and Mackem are having a drink in the oub when the actual JESUS CHRIST walks in
They all send him over a drink, Jesus nods and smiles
As he leaves he shakes maclim by the hand and says 'Thank you for the Guiness.'
'Begorrah, Bejesus' says macliam 'For 60 years I've had arthritic knees from praying for forgiveness for my sins and now their cured! Tis a blaney miracle.'
'Thank you for the Babycham Mel ' Say Jesus shaking Mel;s hand m
'My goodness gracious me,' say Mel '25 years I've sat in front of my computer, correcting peoples grammar and now my plies are completely cured, It is indeed a miracle!'
'Thank you for the Newcastle Brown mackem' says Jesus stretching out his hand
'You get away from me' Says mackem backing away 'I'm on sickness benefit!'
He'd never get away in a Dublin pub with that on his jacket - Jaysus.
Kev was visiting cousin Mickeen and they got blathered. They found themselves on a boreen in the middle of nowhere and Mickeen found a stone pillar and let out a yelp
"Mother of Jaysus", says Mick "We're only in a feckin' graveyard!!"
"How do you know?" asked Kev
"Cos this yoke says "Miles from Dublin" .......
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