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Mel taking his pet for a walk when he bumps into macliam whose eating a potato
'Begorrah Begorrah' says macliam 'Wot yew got there then?'
'It's a Chameleon' replies Mel
'Bejesus' says macliam as he bends down to stroke it 'Go on then little fella, tell me a joke.'

"Whisht, ye gowl," he said "I'm really a common lizard, but I'm trying to blend in!".

Kev arrived and said to Mel "You can't have that critter in the street, take it to the zoo!"

"I did that yesterday", said Mel, "so I was taking it to the park today!"

pakefeild 'It's muggy out.'
bb 'If you've put all our cups in the garden that's it!'
pakefeild says nothing as he sips his tea from a bowl.

Have you changed medicine?

Mackem staggered out the pub and gets into his car.

Looking at himself in the rearview mirror, he says , "You're way to p****d to drive."

As he puts his keys in the ignition he thinks 'I'm not taking advice from a drunk."

kevinchess1 wrote:Mackem staggered out the pub and gets into his car.

Looking at himself in the rearview mirror, he says , "You're way to p****d to drive."

As he puts his keys in the ignition he thinks 'I'm not taking advice from a drunk."

That's all porkies Mr Kevin - who needs car keys

Boro Boy walks into a pub wearing his sunglasses with his pet corgi on a lead.
'Oy' says the barman 'No dogs allowed!'
Boro Boy pauses before saying 'But surely you allow guide dogs?'
'Well of course we do.' replies the barman 'Hang on a sec, Guide dogs are usually labradors.'
Boro boy says 'What they given me then?'

The man on the phone says 'Good afternoon expresso, who currently supplies your internet?'
Expresso replies 'My next door neighbour

Mackem first workout back at the gym was great...
He did 15 mins of cardio,
10 mins on the defibrillator,
and then 3 days in the hospital.

kevinchess1 wrote:Mackem first workout back at the gym was great...
He did 15 mins of cardio,
10 mins on the defibrillator,
and then 3 days in the hospital.

And 70 hours of that was waiting in a corridor to be seen - Do us all a favour Jeremy........GO