Clean jokes - 2015

[kevinchess1]

Don't worry if you can't spell Armageddon - it's not like its the end of the world.

[kevinchess1]

Nice to hear that Putin getting into the holiday spirit, says he's having Turkey for Christmas!

[kevinchess1]

Q,What is the most common type of owl in this country?
A. The teat owl.

[kevinchess1]

Incident at the undertakers today.The man who wrote "The Hokey Kokey” died.
They put his left leg in the coffin and then the trouble started.

[1960mackem]

I hate all this terrorist business.

I used to love the days when you could look at an unattended bag on a train or bus and think to yourself ‘I’m having that’

[Mel]

I hate all this terrorist business.

I used to love the days when you could look at an unattended bag on a train or bus and think to yourself ‘I’m having that’

My mother has asked if you would be good enough to return her suitcase which was nicked off a train in Sunderland in 1965.

[macliam]

I hate all this terrorist business.

I used to love the days when you could look at an unattended bag on a train or bus and think to yourself ‘I’m having that’

My mother has asked if you would be good enough to return her suitcase which was nicked off a train in Sunderland in 1965.

British Rail would like the rest of the train back, as well

[blythburgh]

I hate all this terrorist business.

I used to love the days when you could look at an unattended bag on a train or bus and think to yourself ‘I’m having that’

My mother has asked if you would be good enough to return her suitcase which was nicked off a train in Sunderland in 1965.

British Rail would like the rest of the train back, as well

And some places would like the a working railway system.

[1960mackem]

I hate all this terrorist business.

I used to love the days when you could look at an unattended bag on a train or bus and think to yourself ‘I’m having that’

My mother has asked if you would be good enough to return her suitcase which was nicked off a train in Sunderland in 1965.

Train station - I think it was 1978 before I could afford the trainfare, before that it was Bus or Cycle.
We thought nothing of walking 7 or 8 miles to go to watch the footy, if it meant having a pie and a Bovril at half time

[Mel]

We thought nothing of walking 7 or 8 miles to go to watch the footy, if it meant having a pie and a Bovril at half time

Just think how much happier and richer you would have been if you'd saved the cost of shoe leather (assuming you had shoes?)and had your pie and Bovril at home.