Clean jokes - post 'em here

kevinchess1 · Post by **kevinchess1** » Tue Jan 10 2017 8:39pm

I hate people that dislike football but go along to games to deliberately cause trouble and ruin it for everybody else!

Blooming referees.

kevinchess1 · Post by **kevinchess1** » Tue Jan 10 2017 8:41pm

I was going to go to a fancy dress party, with John McEnroe, as Harry Potters godfather.

But he said "You can't be Sirius"

kevinchess1 · Post by **kevinchess1** » Wed Jan 11 2017 7:30pm

My mate replaced his bed with a trampoline without telling his wife.
She hit the roof.

kevinchess1 · Post by **kevinchess1** » Thu Jan 12 2017 8:40pm

Snowing!
I'm doing doughnuts in the pub car park
And Mackem is doing doughnuts in Gregs

kevinchess1 · Post by **kevinchess1** » Thu Jan 12 2017 11:29pm

Doctor: "I think this patient is dying. What blood type is he?"

Nurse: "B positive"

Doctor: "OK!, I don't think this patient is dying"

kevinchess1 · Post by **kevinchess1** » Thu Jan 12 2017 11:30pm

12 days in and I’ve left my new gym. Just didn’t work out.

kevinchess1 · Post by **kevinchess1** » Thu Jan 12 2017 11:31pm

kevinchess1 wrote:Snowing!
I'm doing doughnuts in the pub car park
And Mackem is doing doughnuts in Gregs

The Met Office have just issued a yellow warning!!!

Do not eat yellow snow!

kevinchess1 · Post by **kevinchess1** » Fri Jan 13 2017 11:37pm

A message just popped up on my printer saying I need to replace the cyan cartridge - completely out of the blue!

kevinchess1 · Post by **kevinchess1** » Sat Jan 14 2017 7:55pm

macliam's 4 children have denied rumours that he is a closet monarchist
'Dad is a republican though and though!' said sons Charles, Andy, Edward and daughter Ann.

kevinchess1 · Post by **kevinchess1** » Sun Jan 15 2017 1:33pm

My wife was crying because the clothes in a +size catalogue wouldn't fit her.

"Don't let it get you down" I said, "you're bigger than that"

Clean jokes - post 'em here

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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

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