Clean jokes - post 'em here

The light-hearted side of life
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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by kevinchess1 » Sun Feb 19 2017 7:32pm

Me 'MEL, MEL can we got to MaCdonalds now? Can we? can we?
Mel 'We can. If you can spell it?'
(Pause) Me 'Can we go to KFC then?'
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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by kevinchess1 » Mon Feb 20 2017 10:16pm

My friend said he didn’t understand cloning.
I said “that makes two of us”
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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by kevinchess1 » Tue Feb 21 2017 5:43pm

Q. What can a lift do that a Northerner can't?
A. Raise a family safely.
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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by kevinchess1 » Wed Feb 22 2017 11:53am

I bought a new strimmer today.

It's cutting hedge technology.
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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by kevinchess1 » Wed Feb 22 2017 11:55am

Sutton reserve goalie, Wayne Shaw, went out on a High yesterday
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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by macliam » Wed Feb 22 2017 2:06pm

A nudist went to see the elephants.

One said to the other, "OK, you tell me how he manages to eat......"
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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by macliam » Wed Feb 22 2017 2:10pm

"I want to sell my parrot"
"That's a shame - is he a good talker?"
"Yo bet! Yesterday the little sod tried to sell me!"
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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by macliam » Wed Feb 22 2017 2:12pm

Why is Google female?

Because it won't let you finish a sentence without suggesting other ideas.......
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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by kevinchess1 » Wed Feb 22 2017 4:17pm

I went to my cats funeral today.
Hopefully for the last time.
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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by kevinchess1 » Wed Feb 22 2017 4:18pm

IDSIS left me because I'm too insecure.
No wait she's back
She just went to make herself a cup of tea
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