Over 18s jokes - post here

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kevinchess1
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Re: Over 18s jokes - post here

Post by kevinchess1 » Wed Apr 19 2017 11:39pm

When a man talks dirty to a woman it's sexual harassment!

When a woman talks dirty to a man it's £6 a minute.
Last edited by kevinchess1 on Tue Apr 25 2017 12:02am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Over 18s jokes - post here

Post by kevinchess1 » Fri Apr 21 2017 5:51pm

Just mixed up my botox with my viagra, :(
I'm very upset
but I'm keeping a stiff upper lip.
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Re: Over 18s jokes - post here

Post by kevinchess1 » Sat Apr 22 2017 7:19pm

Yesterday, a feminist asked me how I view lesbian relationships?
Apparently 'In HD' wasn't the correct answer.
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Re: Over 18s jokes - post here

Post by kevinchess1 » Mon Apr 24 2017 5:47pm

My wife said I need to be more in touch with my feminine side,
so I crashed the car,
burnt the dinner
and ignored her all day for no reason.
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Re: Over 18s jokes - post here

Post by kevinchess1 » Tue Apr 25 2017 12:01am

I love the smell of grannys cooking
Which is why I set fire to the Old folks home
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Re: Over 18s jokes - post here

Post by kevinchess1 » Tue Apr 25 2017 4:19pm

I'd only been sat down for a couple of minutes when she started
'3 days I've been gone. 3 FRIGGING DAYS! And you're all ready taken up with that fat tart from the office. well i hope your tiny didge can satisfy her because it never EVER satisfied me!'
It lead to an awkward feeling for the rest of the seance
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Re: Over 18s jokes - post here

Post by kevinchess1 » Fri Apr 28 2017 7:47pm

Mackem at a party spies a V attractive woman and asks her name
'It's Carmen' she replies
'Stunning name for a nice lady.' he says
'It's appropriate as well.'
''How that then?' asks mackem
'Well, I love cars AND I love men! I never got your name?'
'Makem BeerSunderland.'
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Re: Over 18s jokes - post here

Post by kevinchess1 » Fri Apr 28 2017 11:10pm

Man 'Come over
Girl 'I'm coming over...we should stop using walkie talkies in bed
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Re: Over 18s jokes - post here

Post by kevinchess1 » Sat Apr 29 2017 12:59pm

I put me finger in a hole in me trainer
They threw me out of the gym
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Re: Over 18s jokes - post here

Post by kevinchess1 » Sat Apr 29 2017 1:01pm

Chadwick wrote:
kevinchess1 wrote:Proper punctuation is the difference between a sentence that is well-written and a sentence that is, well, written.
Indeed. And also the difference between helping Uncle Jack off his horse, and helping Uncle jack off his horse.
Bit like the time I got called into the office by the boss who told me he have to 'lay me or jack off'
I said i didn't find him attractive
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