Over 18s jokes - post here

kevinchess1 · Post by **kevinchess1** » Fri May 12 2017 5:17pm

I didn't feel very well last night.
Which is why I lost the annual inappropriate touching competition.

kevinchess1 · Post by **kevinchess1** » Mon May 15 2017 10:39pm

The news that Ian Brady is receiving compassionate care on his deathbed has caused outrage amongst the people of Britain. Come on people......the man was an Arsenal legend for goodness sake.

kevinchess1 · Post by **kevinchess1** » Sat May 20 2017 8:16pm

Last night I bought an alcoholic ginger beer.
He wasn't happy about it.

kevinchess1 · Post by **kevinchess1** » Sun May 21 2017 7:43pm

There's a Polish bloke next door. Every night he stands at the top of our street singing,
"I want to know what love is." Bloody Foreigner.

kevinchess1 · Post by **kevinchess1** » Thu May 25 2017 7:57pm

Luke 'Why do women have to put a label on everything?;
'Dunno mate.' I replied
Luke 'Can't we just be two people who enjoy spending time together? But no, I have to be her "stalker."

kevinchess1 · Post by **kevinchess1** » Fri May 26 2017 8:26pm

Just bought some Viagra tea bags.
They don't improve your sex life,
but they stop your biscuits going soft.

kevinchess1 · Post by **kevinchess1** » Sat May 27 2017 11:51pm

Put over 300 pound on a horse today

I know I shouldn't have...but mackem was so keen to ride one

kevinchess1 · Post by **kevinchess1** » Sun May 28 2017 9:40pm

My wife turned to me in bed and said "I'm going to make you the happiest man in the world!"
I turned to her and said "I'll miss you!"

kevinchess1 · Post by **kevinchess1** » Tue May 30 2017 11:16pm

Teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime.
Teach a feminist to fish and she will accuse you of patronising her, claim she knew how to do it anyway and that even if she didn't, she could easily work it out without the help of a man.
And then she will stave to death....which will be a mans fault

kevinchess1 · Post by **kevinchess1** » Tue May 30 2017 11:20pm

I was stopped by a Korean prostitute in the park last night.
She smiled and said, "I'll eat you for breakfast, you handsome thing." as she was stroking my dog.

Over 18s jokes - post here

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