Clean jokes - post 'em here

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kevinchess1
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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by kevinchess1 » Wed Apr 18 2018 3:32pm

Chadwick wrote:My wife said she was leaving me because of my obsession with the Monkees.
I thought she was joking. And then I saw her face...

...and my wife left me because of my Phil Collins obsession
But take a look at me now
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kevinchess1
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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by kevinchess1 » Wed Apr 18 2018 4:46pm

Theresa May ‘One of my constituents is moving to the Caribbean.’
Interviewer ‘Jamaica?’
TM ‘Yes!’
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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by macliam » Wed Apr 18 2018 7:32pm

kevinchess1 wrote:Theresa May ‘One of my constituents is moving to the Caribbean.’
Interviewer ‘Jamaica?’
TM ‘Yes!’
Isn't the full quote
Interviewer ‘Jamaica?’
TM ‘Yes - and she's going to Barbados!’
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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by macliam » Wed Apr 18 2018 7:37pm

kevinchess1 wrote:
Chadwick wrote:My wife said she was leaving me because of my obsession with the Monkees.
I thought she was joking. And then I saw her face...
...and my wife left me because of my Phil Collins obsession
But take a look at me now
....... and SWMBO said I was blinded by my love of Reggae music
But I Can See Clearly Now.......
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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by kevinchess1 » Thu Apr 19 2018 8:03am

I was doings my Barry White tribute act at the Brown Jelly open mike night and they absolutely loved it :thumbup:
All shouting out ‘You are soul!’ :)
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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by Chadwick » Thu Apr 19 2018 8:32am

My other wife left me because of my increasing dissatisfaction with my Michael Jackson tribute act.
She'd tell me, it doesn't matter if you're black or white.
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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by kevinchess1 » Fri Apr 20 2018 8:09am

Is it true that an apple a day keeps the doctor away, or is it just one of Granny’s myths?
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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by blythburgh » Fri Apr 20 2018 8:44am

kevinchess1 wrote:Is it true that an apple a day keeps the doctor away, or is it just one of Granny’s myths?
It is one of Granny's smyths"
Keep smiling because the light at the end of someone's tunnel may be you, Ron Cheneler

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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by Denant » Sat Apr 21 2018 7:36pm

Remembers when i used to be in a band called CATS EYES....
we were ok just played middle of road kinda stuff
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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by kevinchess1 » Sat Apr 21 2018 8:51pm

Reminds me that time I saw an Elbow tribute band called My ares
I couldn’t tell them apart
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