Clean jokes - post 'em here

The light-hearted side of life
kevinchess1
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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by kevinchess1 » Sat Apr 21 2018 10:25pm

I always try and go the extra mile
which is why i lost my job as an Uber driver
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kevinchess1
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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by kevinchess1 » Sun Apr 22 2018 10:42am

...AND my wife is leaving me because of my rugby obsession
I said ‘let’s give it one last try!’
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Chadwick
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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by Chadwick » Mon Apr 23 2018 9:45am

kevinchess1 wrote:Reminds me that time I saw an Elbow tribute band called My ares
I couldn’t tell them apart
Reminds me of the time I tried to start a band called 999 Megabytes.
We couldn't get a gig.
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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by macliam » Mon Apr 23 2018 12:41pm

I was listening to some Moroccan guitar music

....... what a Rif!
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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by macliam » Mon Apr 23 2018 12:44pm

My niece earns pocket money fro playing Indian music to children whilst their parents are out.

She's a baby-sitar.
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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by kevinchess1 » Fri May 04 2018 8:04am

Jimmy Montgomery, Sunderland's goalkeeper in 1973 gets a letter delivered to his house..

Opens it,it's an electricity bill for £17,000 forwarded on from Sunderland Football Club..

He rings the club, "I think there's been a mistake, you sent me a bill but i haven't worked for you for years"......

No Jimmy sorry, but there’s no mistake......

You were the last person in the trophy room in 1973 and you left the lights on".
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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by kevinchess1 » Fri May 04 2018 3:48pm

A rental car ran over my foot

Hertz
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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by 1960mackem » Fri May 04 2018 3:56pm

kevinchess1 wrote:A rental car ran over my foot

Hertz
Sounds like a definite SIXT note !!
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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by kevinchess1 » Fri May 04 2018 4:30pm

1960mackem wrote:
kevinchess1 wrote:A rental car ran over my foot

Hertz


Sounds like a definite SIXT note !!
That’s Enterprise ing
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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by kevinchess1 » Sun May 06 2018 12:09pm

It’s so hot I’ve stripped off all my clothes and opened all the windows much too the annoyance of the taxi driver :shock:
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