Clean jokes - post 'em here

The light-hearted side of life
kevinchess1
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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by kevinchess1 » Sat Jun 30 2018 11:37pm

Q.
Why didn't the teddy bear have anymore cake?
A.
It was stuffed!
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kevinchess1
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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by kevinchess1 » Wed Jul 04 2018 10:54pm

Just went to an exotic new bistro
I had stuffed Pelican :?
The bill was massive
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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by kevinchess1 » Sat Jul 07 2018 11:21pm

whatsapp keep crashing?
Then download the 'Bugs Bunny' app
Its the whats app doc
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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by kevinchess1 » Sat Jul 14 2018 11:21pm

The inventor of the crossword passed away last week.
May he rest in the absence of anxiety or stress/still and quiet (5)
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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by kevinchess1 » Sun Jul 15 2018 2:35pm

"Give me a T."

"T"

"Give me a T."

"T"

"Oh, forget it. I'll go to another Cafe"
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macliam
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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by macliam » Sun Jul 15 2018 2:45pm

kevinchess1 wrote:My father(RIP) Always said 'As one door closes, another one opens.'
Lovely bloke but a rubbish submarine captain!
My father(RIP) told me 'There's always some good comes from bad'
Well at least the lions were happy......

He also said "All that glisters is not gold"
But I thought that was a crap excuse for selling off our mine in Australia.

When driving, he'd hardly ever find his destination. Every time he got to a junction he waited to see if anyone else turned.... and you know what they say, "he who hesitates...."Image
Just because I'm paranoid, it doesn't mean they're not out to get me

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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by macliam » Sun Jul 15 2018 3:10pm

kevinchess1 wrote:"Give me a T."

"T"

"Give me a T."

"T"

"Oh, forget it. I'll go to another Cafe"
Reminds me of the cafe in Bath....
"I'll have a cup of tea and a bun, please"
"Sorry sir, we don't serve buns"
"OK, I'll have a cup of coffee and a bun then..."
"Sorry sir, we don't serve buns"
"I'll just have a bun then......"
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kevinchess1
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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by kevinchess1 » Tue Jul 17 2018 6:24pm

It only costs 1p to get into our local aquarium, as long as you're camping, or dressed as a dolphin.

So, to all in tents and porpoises, it's free!
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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by kevinchess1 » Wed Jul 18 2018 3:13pm

Collective noun for voters?

A pathy of voters
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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by kevinchess1 » Wed Jul 25 2018 10:49pm

Am I disappointed that my voice activated car isn’t working properly?
Well, it goes without saying.
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