Clean jokes - post 'em here

The light-hearted side of life

Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Postby macliam » Thu Sep 20, 2018 11:32 am

kevinchess1 wrote:'Highways England launches campaign to stop tailgating' I'm right behind this.

Tailgating in Portugal is the norm - maximum speed limits seem to be advisory only.

I find that if I have someone riding on my back bumper, "accidental" use of the rear foglights increases their laundry bill.....
Just because I'm paranoid, it doesn't mean they're not out to get me

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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Postby kevinchess1 » Fri Sep 21, 2018 10:24 pm

Wouldn't have that issue if you ever got over 27mph
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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Postby blythburgh » Tue Sep 25, 2018 10:24 am

Farmer to Border Collie: I bought some sheep at the market today can you go and check on them for me

Border Collie comes back and says, "checked on them and there are 40 fine sheep in the field"

Farmer replies, "40 but I only bought 38"
Border Collie replies, "I rounded them up for you"
Keep smiling because the light at the end of someone's tunnel may be you, Ron Cheneler

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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Postby kevinchess1 » Tue Sep 25, 2018 1:48 pm

Yesterday I bought the world's worst thesaurus...

Not only was it terrible, it was terrible
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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Postby kevinchess1 » Thu Sep 27, 2018 6:55 pm

I have Polish friend who is a sound engineer. I have a Czech one too.
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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Postby blythburgh » Fri Sep 28, 2018 11:25 am

Got this from the British Merchant Navy Old Friends Plus website. The thread was about getting buckets of seawater aboard the shop whilst at sea.


a glaswegian and an aberdonian both applied for a deckies job. the skipper said i'll take the aberdonian as they are honest. the glaswegian protested that he was honest so the skipper took them both.
a couple of days later the aberdonian was washed overboard trying to get a bucket of water. the glaswegian rushed up to the bridge and said to the skipper, you know that honest aberdonian, he's away with yer bucket.
Keep smiling because the light at the end of someone's tunnel may be you, Ron Cheneler
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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Postby kevinchess1 » Sat Sep 29, 2018 8:53 pm

If McCoy is not the world#s most famous fictional doctor
then Who is
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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Postby kevinchess1 » Sat Oct 06, 2018 10:01 am

The next fil in the Marvel universe will feature Iron Man and Silver Surfer teaming up
Thet are going to be alloys
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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Postby expressman33 » Sat Oct 06, 2018 1:54 pm

Have you heard about the 2 thieves that stole a calendar - they both got 6 months

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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Postby kevinchess1 » Tue Oct 09, 2018 9:03 pm

From my hotel window I can see a Fish finger plant
Talk about a birds eye view
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