I went to the doctor's office the other day and found out my new doctor is a young female; drop-dead gorgeous! I was embarrassed, but she said, "Don't worry, I'm a professional. I've seen it all before. Just tell me what's wrong and I'll check it out." I said, "My wife thinks my dick tastes funny." :o

Some Old, Some New, Some Borrowed, some Blue and a lot not P.C. After a night of drink, drugs and wild sex, Jim woke up to find himself next to a really ugly woman. That's when he realised he had made it home safely. Paddy says to Mick, "Christmas is on Friday this year". Mick said, "Let's hope it'...

Little Johnny goes to school, and the teacher says, 'Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?' Little Johnny waves his hand, 'Me, Miss Rogers, me, me!' Miss Rogers: 'All right, little Johnny, what is your multi-syllable word?' Li...

Little Johnny sees his Daddy's car pass the play ground and go into the woods. Curious, he follows the car and sees Daddy and Aunt Jane in a "Passionate Embrace". Little Johnny finds this so exciting and can barely contain himself as he runs home and starts to tell his mother excitedly, "MOMMY, MOMM...

I recently came into some money,

And that's why I no longer work for Natwest