Another Italian deserts a sinking ship...

I have been practising my Roy Walker impression. It's good but it's not right.

A man came to my house with a survey and asked me what I knew about dwarfs.
I said "Very little."

My friend's girlfriend left him because of his helium fetish.

And to think he used to speak very highly of her!

Apparently the buffet at Kim Jong Il's funeral was the dog's bollocks!

Just seen some statistics on the most common way people walk when drunk.
It's staggering.

My doctor just told me I'm a compulsive liar.

Then she gave me a blow job in her office.

I organised a threesome last night. There were a couple of no-shows but I still had a good time.

Tonight I'm going to one of those bukkake parties. I was a bit worried so I rang my insurance company about it. They've assured me I will be covered.