"What do the Irish do about our "Irishman" jokes?" asked Nigel

"Ara, we tell them about the Kerryman" said Seamus

"OK, so what do people in Kerry do about "Kerryman" jokes then?" asked Nigel

"They put them into books and sell them to Englishmen" said Seamus

Second cousin Nigel was visiting Seamus from over the water. One day they went for a walk by the lough. "Ah, you Irish," said Nigel "take away the peace and quiet, the fresh air, the beautiful countryside, the relaxed way of life and the friendly locals and what would you have?" "England" said Seamu...

At a depth of 100 metres, English archaeologists found traces of copper wire dating back 1000 years and concluded that their ancestors had a telephone network more than 1000 years ago. :think: Not to be outdone, Scottish archaeologists dug down to 200 metres and found traces of fibre-optic cable whi...

Seamus went off to visit his cousin in Dublin, but got lost. He arrived at the house in the middle of the night and near woke the neighbourhood trying to get in. He spotted a brass gong hanging on the wall -"what's that yoke?" he asked "Ara, that's me speakin' clock" says cousin Mickeen "I'll show y...

Morality is subjective to your own values And legality is probably higher than Morals Off topic: Philosophy, but wrong (philosophically) :think: a) Morality and legality are not reflective of each other: It is not illegal to engage in a clandestine affaire, but many people would think it immoral. I...

blythburgh wrote:Hello and welcome. If you have any questions please ask. We are a friendly lot and we remember what it was like to be a confused newbie

..................some of us still are

Welcome

Mastermind was being filmed in Kilrush, so Seamus applied - and to his surprise he was selected. :shock: So he had to think of something he could answer questions about - and he decided on the Easter Rising, 1916. :think: His turn came up and the first question was asked "Who led the Easter Rising i...

Pat and Mick were off deer hunting in Canada. They slogged back to the landing strip to meet the small plane back to civilization, but the pilot said he would only take three of the deer they had, due to weight restrictions. But Pat wasn't taking any of that, "But, sure we did the same trip last yea...

"Would ye have any work for a handyman?" asked Padraig. "Well it depends what you can do" said the Manager "Are you any good at plumbing?" "No Sir" said Padraig "So what about electrics - are you good there?" "No Sir" said Padraig "OK, what about painting and decorating - are you good at that?" "No ...

Sean was terribly overweight, so his doctor put him on a diet. "I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day, then eat regularly again for 2 days then skip a day ... and repeat this procedure for 2 weeks. The next time I see you, you should have lost at least half a stone!" Sean went back...