A man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th anniversary. As the couple reflected on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asked the husband, "When you first saw my naked body in front of you, what was going through your mind?" The husband replied, "All I wanted to do was to f...

A guy walks into a sperm donor bank wearing a ski mask and holding a gun. He goes up to the nurse and demands her to open the sperm bank vault. She says "But sir, its just a sperm bank!", "I don't care, open it now!!!" he replies. So she opens the door to the vault and inside are all the sperm sampl...

On their first night together, a newlywed couple go to change. The new bride comes out of the bathroom showered and wearing a beautiful robe. The proud husband says, "My dear, we are married now, you can open your robe." The beautiful young woman opens her robe, and he is astonished."Oh, oh, aaaahhh...

The teacher asked the students to write a "short novel" as an English test. She explained that great novels always involved mystery, sex, royalty and religion. In ten minutes, little Tommy announced he was finished, and the he'd included her four basic elements, so the teacher read: "Holy Moses!" cr...

God spoke to Adam. "Adam I have good news and bad news. The good news is that I will give you two organs to give you great power and pleasure. I will give you a brain to enable you to think and to control the world. And I will give you a penis to give great pleasure in lovemaking." "Sounds great God...

When God made man, all the parts of the body argued over who would be boss. The brain explained that since he controlled all the parts of the body, he should be boss. The legs argued that since they took the man wherever he wanted to go, they should be boss. The stomach countered with explanation th...

Terry joined the army and was terrified about having to make his first parachute jump. On the day of the jump he told his wife that he couldn't do it but she reassured him and sent him off for the jump. On his return she asked him how it went. "Dreadful!" he said. "When the plane got to 10,000 feet,...

It was Christmas time and the housewife was waiting impatiently at the front gate for the refuse truck. One by one, she took the binmen to the bedroom and made passionate love to them. Finally, it was the driver's turn. However, he was bitterly disappointed when she gave him £20. "What's this?", he ...

Jobs were hard to get but there was a vacancy at the zoo. On arrival, Pat was told that the gorilla had just died and that they wanted him to put on a gorilla suit and pretend to be a gorilla untill another one could be found. Pat began to enjoy his job a great deal. Eating bananas, swinging from br...

"Oh no, it's my husband!", she said to her boyfriend on hearing the front door slam. "Quick hide in the wardrobe!" He grabbed his clothes and dashed from the bed to the wardrobe. After a few minutes, another voice said quietly, "It's damn dark in here, isn't it?" The man, shivering in the nude, said...