Sir Paul McCartney has fallen out with his new wife as she has spent twice the amount on shoes as his previous wife already!!!

just seen 4 men carrying a coffin around and around the cemetery, after about 10 mins i thought to myself they've lost the plot

Appartantly Bin Laden was only located by the Americans after Birmingham City FC asked him to leave their trophy cabinet a few weeks ago!!!!

Paddy and Mick are looking at a catologue! Paddy says" some fine lookin women in here" "Aye at reasonable prices too, lets order a couple!"
So a month goes by and Paddy calls Mick " any sign o those girls?" "No" says Mick "but it shouldn't be long, their clothes arrived yesterday!"

Didier Drogba's decision to leave Chelsea has resulted in the club releasing 4 medical staff, 2 stretcher bearers and a drama teacher.

I was in Spain a few weeks ago and saw a sign saying "English Speaking Doctor Available". I thought to myself - what a great idea we could do with some of them back home!!!

A guy is browsing in a pet shop and sees a parrot sitting on a little perch. It doesn't have any feet or legs. The guy says aloud, "I wonder what happened to this parrot?" The parrot replies, "I was born this way. I'm a defective parrot." "WOW!" the guy exclaims. "You actually understood and answere...

Woman comes home with some ice cream and asks her husband if he wants some.

"How hard is it" he said

"As hard as you when you think of me" she replied

"ah go on then pour us a cup !!!!!"

First name: Alec
Where you live:Stratford Upon Avon
How I discovered Imutual: RY
Likes: Music, beer, curry, Liverpool fc
Dislikes: sellotape and coathangers
Interesting fact about myself: I am married to a member of Imutual staff