Post
by kevinchess1 » Tue Dec 27 2016 8:33pm
Christmas Eve and the Star in the East, the Bright star, the star of David? Crashes into the Penthouse suite at the Brown Jelly club killing everyone in there.
Un/fortunately Expressman wasn't in there, he was out and about robbing carol singers with macliam.
He had rented it out to 3 friends. As their souls emerged outside the pearly gates, ST Peter says WTF, no no no no no. It's Christmas Eve, I'm off out drinking with mackem, he;s nicked Wragby's giro, Raich is gonna be there, I've got Mistletoe and everything.
Knickers to this, I suppose to do a full evaluation on each of you but I haven't got time, if you can prove to me you were involved in something Christmassy, then I'm gonna let you in
,You first, he says looking down at his list 'Willy Jo what were you doing?'
'I weren't doing nuffink init I were only watchin.'
'Don't sound very festive .' says MR P, His finger hovering over the Straight-to-hell button.
'No wait a minute innit I were eating me mince spies look see.' he said handing over the box
'Aldi's Top quality, best off, butter shortbread, rum spiced mince, deep fill Mince pie 48 for 79p. There's only one left.'
'Well I didn't get any lunch did I. Underdawg and his gang were in town, I had to hide somewhere, truly truly awful.' Says WJ
'In a skip?' asks ST Peter
'Nah the Anne Summer shop, the things I seen.' he starts weeping
'All right, okay' Says St Peter 'Get yourself in there and put on some trousers, No one want to see your Dora-the-explorer boxers. Now then Blithe what were you doing.'
'Well' says Blithe 'I had been bored for a really long time and, as I was leaning over the side of the bed anyway I decided to wrap some presents' she said handing him one
'Yes well I hope Ricky enjoys his Borvil flavoured massage oil in you go. And you Miss' says ST P looking at his list 'Luke? sorry thought you was a girl. What about you?'
Luke grins and fishes something out of his hot pants and tosses it to ST P
'Well, this is a skimpy bra and panties, I don't see how that's Christmassy.'
And Luke says... AND LUKE SAYS (That's your cue Chadwick!)
Politically incorrect since 69
