The light-hearted side of life
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HeadHunter
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by HeadHunter » Thu Feb 16 2012 9:22am
A man came to my house with a survey and asked me what I knew about dwarfs.
I said "Very little."
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Alec3720
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by Alec3720 » Thu Feb 16 2012 11:23pm
just seen 4 men carrying a coffin around and around the cemetery, after about 10 mins i thought to myself they've lost the plot
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HeadHunter
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by HeadHunter » Wed Feb 29 2012 9:24am
Just seen some statistics on the most common way people walk when drunk.
It's staggering.
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kevinchess1
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by kevinchess1 » Tue Mar 13 2012 11:47am
Saw Mel walkin alon the road with a lead attached to a cabbage
So I says
'What the crac then Mel'
He replys 'I'm is takin me dog is four a walk init'
'But thats a cabbage'
'Luke told me it was a Cauli.'
Politically incorrect since 69
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kevinchess1
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by kevinchess1 » Tue Mar 13 2012 4:59pm
Just perfected the best '5-a-day' diet
4 pints of apple cider and a leek
Politically incorrect since 69
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kevinchess1
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by kevinchess1 » Sun Mar 25 2012 11:36am
The boss called mel into his office. "There's been a complaint made about you. This is serious Mel, so I don't want to hear any of your 'clever' smartarse remarks, understand?"
"Of course.. What am I supposed to have done?" he asked.
"Young Rachel has complained that you're rude to her, and just give her boring menial tasks to do because she's the only female on the team. What have you got to say?"
"So.... Let me get this straight.."
"Mel.." he warned.
"...... I'm being accused of Rachel discrimination then
Politically incorrect since 69
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kevinchess1
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by kevinchess1 » Tue Apr 17 2012 3:43pm
Walked into a Jewelers with Mel;
'Look' I says 'an diamond'
Mel curses under his breath and says
'It's not an diamond it's A diamond
I says, 'either way she does a lot of work for that baby charity'
Politically incorrect since 69
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kevinchess1
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by kevinchess1 » Sat Apr 21 2012 8:20pm
Instead of the family sittin around rowin, i insisted we sat at the table for a game of Buckaroo.
It only took 2 minutes before it all kicked off
Politically incorrect since 69
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kevinchess1
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by kevinchess1 » Mon Apr 23 2012 8:12am
I was SITTING IN HIS ARMCHAIR and I SHOUTed TO my WIFE,
"WHEN I DIE I'M GOING TO LEAVE EVERYTHING TO YOU, LOVE!"
SHE SHOUTS BACK "YOU ALREADY DO, YOU LAZY S*D! "
Politically incorrect since 69
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HeadHunter
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by HeadHunter » Mon Apr 23 2012 9:45am
"Feng Shui" - Chinese for putting your husband's crap out into the garage.
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