Imutalites Tales from the daft side

The light-hearted side of life
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Re: Imutalites Tales from the daft side

Post by kevinchess1 » Mon Aug 26 2019 7:51am

Mackem ‘I've been having real problems with nuisance phone calls lately. The most common one seems to be:

"You said you'd be home from the pub three hours ago!"
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kevinchess1
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Re: Imutalites Tales from the daft side

Post by kevinchess1 » Tue Sep 03 2019 4:08pm

Mrs Mackem wakes up at 4.30 in the morning by some stumbling noise downstairs.
She tries to wake up mackem, but the other side of the bed is empty.
Rather scared she screams: “Who's that in our house?”
To her relief it turns out that the cause of the noise is not a burglar, but mackem.
The noise continues for quite some time and she shouts down “What the hell are you doing down there?”
mackem replies: “Oh nothing to worry about. I’m just trying to get a cask of beer up the stairs.”
She gets pretty fed up now and yells: “For the love of God, will you leave that down there.”

“I can’t”, mackem shouts back...........

“I drunk it.” :)
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Re: Imutalites Tales from the daft side

Post by kevinchess1 » Fri Sep 06 2019 11:01pm

I just been voted "the most secretive guy" at IMutual. :thumbup:

I can't tell you how much this award means to me. :?
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Re: Imutalites Tales from the daft side

Post by kevinchess1 » Sat Oct 05 2019 12:26pm

It takes mackem 4 minutes to walk from his house to the pub
but It’s a 45 minute walk back from the pub to his house.
The difference is staggering.
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kevinchess1
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Re: Imutalites Tales from the daft side

Post by kevinchess1 » Thu Oct 10 2019 10:26pm

Expresso went out with my girlfriend to a fancy restaurant last night and she kept insisting on paying for the meal.
He said, "Don't be stupid, we're half way down the road now. Just keep running!
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Re: Imutalites Tales from the daft side

Post by kevinchess1 » Mon Oct 14 2019 5:28pm

mackem always wears the same kit when he goes to support Sunderland.

Hat, dark sunglasses, fake moustache, etc....
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