Imutalites Tales from the daft side

The light-hearted side of life
kevinchess1
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Imutalites Tales from the daft side

Post by kevinchess1 » Fri Jan 19 2018 5:25pm

Mel taking his pet for a walk when he bumps into macliam whose eating a potato
'Begorrah Begorrah' says macliam 'Wot yew got there then?'
'It's a Chameleon' replies Mel
'Bejesus' says macliam as he bends down to stroke it 'Go on then little fella, tell me a joke.'
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macliam
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Re: Imutalites Tales from the daft side

Post by macliam » Fri Jan 19 2018 6:38pm

"Whisht, ye gowl," he said "I'm really a common lizard, but I'm trying to blend in!".

Kev arrived and said to Mel "You can't have that critter in the street, take it to the zoo!"

"I did that yesterday", said Mel, "so I was taking it to the park today!"
Just because I'm paranoid, it doesn't mean they're not out to get me

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Re: Imutalites Tales from the daft side

Post by kevinchess1 » Sat Jan 20 2018 1:01pm

pakefeild 'It's muggy out.'
bb 'If you've put all our cups in the garden that's it!'
pakefeild says nothing as he sips his tea from a bowl.
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Re: Imutalites Tales from the daft side

Post by macliam » Sat Jan 20 2018 1:49pm

Have you changed medicine? :eh:
Just because I'm paranoid, it doesn't mean they're not out to get me

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Re: Imutalites Tales from the daft side

Post by kevinchess1 » Tue Jan 23 2018 3:39pm

Mackem staggered out the pub and gets into his car.

Looking at himself in the rearview mirror, he says , "You're way to p****d to drive."

As he puts his keys in the ignition he thinks 'I'm not taking advice from a drunk."
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Re: Imutalites Tales from the daft side

Post by 1960mackem » Tue Jan 23 2018 4:27pm

kevinchess1 wrote:Mackem staggered out the pub and gets into his car.

Looking at himself in the rearview mirror, he says , "You're way to p****d to drive."

As he puts his keys in the ignition he thinks 'I'm not taking advice from a drunk."

That's all porkies Mr Kevin - who needs car keys :shifty:

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Re: Imutalites Tales from the daft side

Post by kevinchess1 » Thu Jan 25 2018 7:27pm

Boro Boy walks into a pub wearing his sunglasses with his pet corgi on a lead.
'Oy' says the barman 'No dogs allowed!'
Boro Boy pauses before saying 'But surely you allow guide dogs?'
'Well of course we do.' replies the barman 'Hang on a sec, Guide dogs are usually labradors.'
Boro boy says 'What they given me then?'
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Re: Imutalites Tales from the daft side

Post by kevinchess1 » Tue Feb 06 2018 7:02pm

The man on the phone says 'Good afternoon expresso, who currently supplies your internet?'
Expresso replies 'My next door neighbour :shock:
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Re: Imutalites Tales from the daft side

Post by kevinchess1 » Thu Feb 08 2018 7:13pm

Mackem first workout back at the gym was great...
He did 15 mins of cardio,
10 mins on the defibrillator,
and then 3 days in the hospital.
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Re: Imutalites Tales from the daft side

Post by 1960mackem » Thu Feb 08 2018 11:54pm

kevinchess1 wrote:Mackem first workout back at the gym was great...
He did 15 mins of cardio,
10 mins on the defibrillator,
and then 3 days in the hospital.
And 70 hours of that was waiting in a corridor to be seen - Do us all a favour Jeremy........GO
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