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Wales are unbeaten since Ryan Giggs left,
Just like his wife.

‘Did you see that MP grabbing that woman’s bum?’
‘Hancock?’
‘Don’t know, couldn’t see from that angle.’

Ukraine haven't had a meltdown this bad since 1986

Luke 'I'm always frank with my sexual partners!";
'Why?'
Luke 'I don't want them knowing my real name.'

'I'm tying the knot later,'
''Well, I'm not kicking the chair away

A guy goes to the supermarket and notices an attractive woman waving at him.
She says hello. He’s rather taken aback because he can’t place where he knows her from. So he says, “Do you know me?”
To which she replies, “I think you’re the father of one of my kids.”
Now his mind travels back to the only time he has ever been unfaithful to his wife and he says, “My God, are you the stripper from my bachelor party that I made love to on the pool table with all my buddies watching while your partner whipped my butt with wet celery?”
She looks into his eyes, then says calmly, “No, I’m your son’s teacher.”