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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here
Posted: Wed Apr 24 2019 9:46pm
by kevinchess1
expressman33 wrote: ↑Wed Apr 24 2019 10:18am
So a kid walks in the house and says: " mommy, mommy, I found daddy". And the mother says: " stop digging around in the garden, and let you Father rest in peace.
Looked out the window to see the dog playing with my wife
I thought to myself 'I should have buried her deeper!'
Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here
Posted: Thu May 02 2019 8:07pm
by kevinchess1
The man at the Polling station asked me if I knew how to vote!
He make me a little cross.
Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here
Posted: Sat May 04 2019 11:20pm
by kevinchess1
I put a down payment on a time machine. Now I find it’s faulty
But there’s no going back.
Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here
Posted: Wed May 08 2019 6:00pm
by expressman33
I can't believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off.
Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here
Posted: Sat May 11 2019 7:34pm
by Denant
I've taken some of my cats medicine by mistake....
Don't ask me-ow
Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here
Posted: Sat May 11 2019 11:37pm
by kevinchess1
Denant wrote: ↑Sat May 11 2019 7:34pm
I've taken some of my cats medicine by mistake....
Don't ask me-ow
This joke is purrfect
Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here
Posted: Sat May 11 2019 11:48pm
by Boro Boy
kevinchess1 wrote: ↑Sat May 11 2019 11:37pm
Denant wrote: ↑Sat May 11 2019 7:34pm
I've taken some of my cats medicine by mistake....
Don't ask me-ow
This joke is purrfect
No! no! it's Catastrophic!!
Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here
Posted: Sun May 12 2019 9:32pm
by kevinchess1
What goes Beep beep beep beep?
An open top bus reversing into Anfield
Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here
Posted: Thu May 16 2019 10:06pm
by rayf
Boro Boy wrote: ↑Sat May 11 2019 11:48pm
kevinchess1 wrote: ↑Sat May 11 2019 11:37pm
Denant wrote: ↑Sat May 11 2019 7:34pm
I've taken some of my cats medicine by mistake....
Don't ask me-ow
This joke is purrfect
No! no! it's Catastrophic!!
Definitely a paw joke
Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here
Posted: Fri Jun 07 2019 9:18pm
by macliam
Siobhan had a terrible car accident when she was 3 months pregnant and ended up in a coma.
After six months, she wakes up, to discover she is no longer pregnant. So she asks the doctor about her baby.
The doctor replies "You had twins, a boy and a girl, but they were born prematurely and we had to baptise them immediately - so your brother Seamus named them."
"Sweet suffering Jesus, no, not me brother, he's a feckin eejit!!"
Expecting the worst, she asks the doctor for their names
The doctor says "Well your daughter is Denise"
"Thank the Lord!," says Siobhan, "I like the name Denise. I guess I was wrong about Seamus ..... and what's me son's name?"
The doctor looks a little sheepish..... "DENEPHEW!"