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Re: Christmas jokes 2019

Posted: Sat Dec 07, 2019 2:07 pm
by gle1975
Father Christmas gave me a tip to keep the vegetable patch weed free. Simply Hoe hoe hoe.

Re: Christmas jokes 2019

Posted: Sat Dec 07, 2019 2:12 pm
by gle1975
On the 12th Day of Christmas the election gave to me.....12 Lib Dem MPs.

Re: Christmas jokes 2019

Posted: Sat Dec 07, 2019 4:36 pm
by macliam
Whenever I see the banners saying "Bom Natal" in Portugal, I remember the handwritten addition "and strafe Pretoria" I saw on my first visit to the Algarve, back in apartheid days........... :shock:

Nowadays, it's rarer to see such signs - they've been replaced by the transatlantiic "Boas Festas" (Happy Holidays)...... :shifty:

Re: Christmas jokes 2019

Posted: Sat Dec 07, 2019 8:56 pm
by kevinchess1
As one door closes, another door opens.
blythburgh and her Advent calendar

Re: Christmas jokes 2019

Posted: Mon Dec 09, 2019 7:45 pm
by kevinchess1
Luke 'Christmas these days is a lot like having sex, the build up is great but when it finally comes, I always regret spending all that money. :?

Re: Christmas jokes 2019

Posted: Wed Dec 11, 2019 8:33 pm
by kevinchess1
“Royal Mail requires staff to cover busy Christmas period.”

Sounds like Prince Andrew is back to his old ways this festive season. :?

Re: Christmas jokes 2019

Posted: Fri Dec 13, 2019 5:08 am
by kevinchess1
Darth Vader ‘I know what you’re getting for Christmas Luke.’
Luke ‘How?’
DV ‘I felt your presence.’
Luke ‘Groan that’s such a Dad joke.’
DV It’s funny that you say that.’

Re: Christmas jokes 2019

Posted: Sun Dec 15, 2019 10:25 pm
by kevinchess1
I’ve got a Microsoft advent calendar
Open more than 1 window and the all close again

Re: Christmas jokes 2019

Posted: Sun Dec 15, 2019 10:29 pm
by kevinchess1
‘Deck the halls and not your family
Fa a la la la la la la’

Re: Christmas jokes 2019

Posted: Mon Dec 16, 2019 7:10 pm
by kevinchess1
I;ve got a Travelodge advent calendar
cant open any of the windows