imutual.co.uk

How does Mickey Mouse protect against coronavirus
Disney-infectant.

I've been to the Tier 3000.
Not much has changed, but they live underwater.

My wife called me stupid earlier.

I replied, 'You're no rocket surgeon yourself.'

My electric kettle got broken
so I had to make tea using my acoustic kettle.

I don't trust atoms, they make up everything.

Just spent £1,000+ on a reincarnation course at the college.
Expensive but you only live once.

One of my kitchen appliances turns people into stone
Me juicer

I am giving up drinking for a month.
Sorry that came out wrong.
I am giving up. Drinking for a month.

Got sent this on FB:

Owld Lizzie from.Lybster handed her bank card to a bank teller in the Wick branch and said, “I would like to withdraw £10
The teller told her, “For withdrawals less than £100 please use the ATM.”
Lizzie wanted to know why ...
The teller returned her bank card and irritably told her, “These are the rules. Please leave if there is no other matter. There is a queue behind you.”
Lizzie remained silent for a few seconds, then handed the card back to the teller and said, “Please help me withdraw all e money I hev .”
The teller was astonished when she checked the account balance. She nodded her head, leaned down and respectfully told her, you have £30,000 in your account and the bank doesn't have that much cash currently. Could you make an appointment and come again tomorrow?
Lizzie then asked how much she could withdraw immediately.
The teller told her any amount up to £3000
"Well, please let me have £3000 now", she The teller then handed it very friendly and respectfully to her
The old lady put £10 in her bag and asked the teller to deposit £2990 back into her account.
the moral of this tale .......
Don't be difficult with old people, they spent a lifetime learning the skills