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Patient "Doctor, I've hurt my leg in several places"

Doctor "Well, don't go there then...."

Patient "Doctor, I keep singing Delilah"

Doctor "Sounds like Tom Jones syndrome"

Patient "Is that common?"

Doctor "It's not unusual......"

People are always gob-smacked when I punch them in the jaw.

Stocky 'Do you remember all those swinging parties we went to in the 70's?'
blythburgh REMEmBER THEM. I've still got the Tupperware!'

Really glad the government announced their plans to help the Creative Industry today...I do hope they are going to assist Mimes as well I feel we haven't heard anything from them during all this...

The amount of money a westerner spends on food, in a week, would feed a 3rd world person for a year
This is outrageous
I mean. clearly, we are all being overcharged

I'm happy to cross the I's
But Crossing the T's is where I draw a line

Sunderland FC and Norwich FC Football to admit fans to games after government allows small groups of people to meet indoors.

The acting profession are fearful that some theatres may never open again after lockdown.

Why do they have to make a song and dance about everything?.