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Have you heard the joke about Elton John?
Its a little bit funny.

Have you heard about the marxist called Rudolph who can forecast the weather?
Well Rudolph the Red knows rain dear.

The little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlour and slowly pulled himself up onto a stool, with a look of pain on his face.

After a few moments, he ordered a banana split.

The waitress smiled and asked "Crushed nuts?"

"No," he said, ".....................Arthritis"

Expresso 'I'm not buying the 'Big Issue' because of my fears about COVID19!

Normally, I don't buy it because I'm mean.'

I went to buy a chimney today, I asked the guy behind the counter how much they cost.

He said nothing they're on the house

I think my husband is going to leave me because I've swapped the labels on his spices

He hasn't found out yet but the Thyme is Cumin

Mick was sitting in Murphy's Bar when a group of loudmouthed Americans came in.

One of them said "You Irish think you can drink! I'll bet $5000 that nobody can drink 10 pints of Guinness in 30 minutes!"

Nobody said anything, but Mick slipped quietly out the back,

A while later he came back and said to yer man "You're on!" and the drinking began.

Mick finished off the tenth pint with just a few seconds to spare...

The Yank said "Well, Bud, that's some serious drinking..... but tell me, why did you make yourself scarce when I first said about the bet?"

"Well," said Mick, "$5000 is a lot to a man like me, so I popped over to Delahunty's bar to make sure I could do it!!"

"I’ve just received the Russian Covid vaccine and so far i have no side efectoski secundarioski Президент Российской Федерации; Президент россии"