Christmas Jokes 2020

[kevinchess1]

You all know how this works
I'll start with the traditional
Q. How does Good King Wenceslas like his pizza

(Chadwick that's your cue )

[kevinchess1]

Darth Vader 'I know what you're getting for Christmas Luke.'
Luke 'Really? How?'
'DV 'I can feel your presence.'
Luke 'Groan. That is such a dad joke.'
DV ' It's funny that you say that.'

[kevinchess1]

Luke 'I just brought my Christmas tree.'
'Are you going to put it up yourself?''
Luke 'No. I'm putting it up in the front room.'

[Chadwick]

You all know how this works
I'll start with the traditional
Q. How does Good King Wenceslas like his pizza

(Chadwick that's your cue )

Oh, heck, it's been a year since I remembered this.
Don't spoil it, I'll work it out.

[kevinchess1]

snow was falling
all around me
children playing
having fun.
Then I slipped and broke my pelvis.

That's when I knew I was on Shaky ground

[kevinchess1]

Mum She’s crying because her favourite toy is broken!"
Dad: "Nothing a little duct tape won't fix."
Kid: "Mfflr..frrrr..strnnn..mmmppphh.

[kevinchess1]

Microsoft have released a festive advent calendar this Christmas.

You get an update every time you open a window

[expressman33]

Have you heard the one about a man who stole an advent calendar and got 25 days .

[expressman33]

Last year Raich got me the best Christmas present in the world , a broken drum --------- you just can’t beat it!

[kevinchess1]

What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations?

Tinsilitis!