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macliam wrote: ↑

Fri Aug 20 2021 3:52pm

Kev tried to come up with a new name for vanishing cream...

What a DissapOintment........

We once were going to Cambridge so took our friends, Dave and Sheena, with us so she could meet up with her family. The road took us through the town of Diss and Dave, encouraged by 'im indoors, came up with so many Diss jokes.

When I was a market research interviewer I even did a job in the town once and found a house with the name "Disalldo". So bad it has stayed in my memory but important stuff gets forgotten lol

In memory of Kev I am posting a couple of jokes from my FB group:

What plane does the Mexican President fly in?
AirForce Juan

I had a girlfriend who was into Picasso and Mexican food
She was really artsy-fartsy.

One for kev,

A guy arrives in heaven and is shocked to see clocks stretching for as far as the eye can see.

He calls over St.Peter and asks why all these clocks are there.

"Oh", says St.Peter, "each of these is connected to a person on earth, alive or dead. Each time they lie, the pointer moves on to show how long they must stay in Purgatory, before entering heaven"

"This one was for Gautama Buddha, it still says 00:00"

"This one was for Mother Theresa, it has hardly moved..."

"So where is Boris Johnson's?" asked the man

St. Peter smiled "I have it in the office. I use it as a fan!"

You could tell kev was a chef...... when BeMore Dog ran into the kitchen, kev shouted "choux"!!

I asked him once if he ever served steak almost raw. He said he did, but it was rare

A group of chess players checked into a hotel and stood in the lobby as they talked about their tournament victories. Suddenly the manager came out and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked. "Because I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."

What did the octogenarian pirate say?

"Aye, Matey"

What's a pirate's favourite letter?

You might think it would be "R"..... but they love the "C"

macliam wrote: ↑

Wed Aug 25 2021 2:20pm

I asked him once if he ever served steak almost raw. He said he did, but it was rare

You don't hear many jokes about steak.
It's a rare medium well done.

A man who took an airline company to court after his luggage went missing has lost his case.