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A bear walks into a pub and says to the landlord "Give me a vodka and...................................coke"

"Why the big pause?" asked the landlord

"Don't ask me" says the bear, "I was born with them..."

RIP Kev. Thank you for all the jokes and cheering me up.

Here is one as a tribute.

I wake my children up for school by pouring honey on them - it is the only way I can Rowse them.

I was given a new pair of gloves, but they’re both "lefts".

On the one hand they're great, but on the other, they're just not right.

I told my GP that I thought I was shrinking.

He told me I'd have to learn to be a little patient.

I tried to start a professional hide and seek team, but it didn't work out.

It seems that good players are hard to find.......

I'm doing my best to combat climate change. I've put some black paper over half the end of my torch to save on batteries.

The boss of IKEA was elected Prime Minister of Sweden.

He said he'll have no problems putting together a cabinet!

I met a pig with an unfortunate name..... Chris P. Bacon

In an argument with the boss, he asked whether I thought he was stupid or I was......

I told him that everyone knew he doesn't hire stupid people!!