Over 18s jokes - post here

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Re: Over 18s jokes - post here

Post by Luke_PieStalker » Sun Jul 10 2016 10:02pm

Now now Kev, you are far too modest about your own conjuring talents....

The way you made all those prostitutes disappear, even the police couldn't find them.
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Re: Over 18s jokes - post here

Post by kevinchess1 » Mon Jul 11 2016 8:47pm

I picked up a hitch hiker. You’ve got to when you hit them :?
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Re: Over 18s jokes - post here

Post by kevinchess1 » Tue Jul 19 2016 8:20pm

I don't normally do smutty jokes and innuendo :thumbdown:
But occasionally i slip one in :D
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Re: Over 18s jokes - post here

Post by kevinchess1 » Sun Aug 14 2016 4:45pm

Luke's blind date with Lotty wasn't going to well
'So' she asks 'is there anything, anything ANYTHING interesting about you?'
'Well, I have this gift or sixth sense or physic ability to tell the day a women was born just by feeling her breasts!'
'No way! really? you're kidding me. how do you do that?'
'I'm not certain, I just know.'
'Okay then do me.'
Luke undoes a couple of buttons and puts his hand under her bra and start having a good grope. after about 30 seconds she asks 'Well?'
'In a minute I'm working it out.'
Another 30 seconds go by and she asks 'Well have you worked it out yet?'
'nearly, just need a little more time.'
After another 20 second she yells 'For goodness sake what day was I born?'
Luke looks up and says 'Yesterday.'
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Re: Over 18s jokes - post here

Post by kevinchess1 » Tue Sep 06 2016 9:14pm

I thought my vasectomy would prevent my wife from getting pregnant.

Apparently it just changes the colour of the baby.
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Re: Over 18s jokes - post here

Post by kevinchess1 » Fri Sep 09 2016 8:44pm

Physically, biologically and actually
It only takes 3.5 inches to please a woman.

It doesn't matter if it's Visa or MasterCard.
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Re: Over 18s jokes - post here

Post by macliam » Fri Sep 09 2016 10:02pm

kevinchess1 wrote:Physically, biologically and actually
It only takes 3.5 inches to please a woman.

It doesn't matter if it's Visa or MasterCard.
American Express? ...... there's treatment available ;)
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Re: Over 18s jokes - post here

Post by kevinchess1 » Sat Sep 10 2016 2:18pm

I had a dream last night that I was getting a blowjob from the blonde one from ABBA

I only woke up because his beard was tickling me
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Re: Over 18s jokes - post here

Post by kevinchess1 » Sun Sep 11 2016 9:54pm

Frightend the postman today by going to the door naked

I'm not sure what scared him more, my naked body or the fact that I knew where he lived
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Re: Over 18s jokes - post here

Post by kevinchess1 » Mon Sep 12 2016 10:53pm

Saw the wife at the bank today, not good news!!

I was hoping she'd wash further down river.
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