Christmas Jokes

kevinchess1 · Post by **kevinchess1** » Wed Dec 21 2016 7:29pm

My fairy lights are like Northerners?
Most of them don't work but they are fun to hang out with

kevinchess1 · Post by **kevinchess1** » Wed Dec 21 2016 11:51pm

Q.
Why didn't Roy Hodgson get to see Santa in Lapland?
A.
He couldn't make it past Iceland.

Scrabble817 · Post by **Scrabble817** » Thu Dec 22 2016 9:18am

Q: What qualifications has Father Christmas got?

A: Ho-ho-ho levels.

Chadwick · Post by **Chadwick** » Thu Dec 22 2016 9:27am

I was in court yesterday, on charges of stealing an advent calendar.

I got 25 days.

kevinchess1 · Post by **kevinchess1** » Fri Dec 23 2016 12:03pm

Christmas 1975
It was Christmas Eve and I was tucked up in bed
I was half woken by the approaching sound of rustling/jingling
I strained my eyes and could just make out the shadowy, familiar, legendary, figure
He put his finger to his lips and said 'Hush'
Then he carried on with his task of emptying his sack
And then, in the twinkling of an eye, he was gone

Christmas at Stoke Mandeville was awful

kevinchess1 · Post by **kevinchess1** » Sat Dec 24 2016 11:51am

Who hides in a bakery at Christmas?

A mince spy

macliam · Post by **macliam** » Sun Dec 25 2016 5:37am

kevinchess1 wrote:Who hides in a bakery at Christmas?

A mince spy

....is that ho ho seven?

Fuggsy · Post by **Fuggsy** » Sun Dec 25 2016 9:18am

kevinchess1 wrote:Christmas 1975
It was Christmas Eve and I was tucked up in bed
I was half woken by the approaching sound of rustling/jingling
I strained my eyes and could just make out the shadowy, familiar, legendary, figure
He put his finger to his lips and said 'Hush'
Then he carried on with his task of emptying his sack
And then, in the twinkling of an eye, he was gone

Christmas at Stoke Mandeville was awful

Those xmas cracker jokes don't get any better, do they?

kevinchess1 · Post by **kevinchess1** » Sun Dec 25 2016 7:54pm

I suspect a cracker is the only thing you will be pulling over Christmas fuggsy

kevinchess1 · Post by **kevinchess1** » Sun Dec 25 2016 8:32pm

Chadwick wrote:
kevinchess1 wrote:RICK ASTLEY! yes RICK ASTLEY has just asked me what I want for Christmas.
I said'I want that PIxar DVD about the house that get's carried away by all those balloons.'
'He said....'

(That's you cue Chadwick)
I'm never gonna give you "Up"!

[Thank you, thank you, I'm here all week etc]

Life imitating art
Actually got this DVD as a present today

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