Clean jokes - post 'em here

The light-hearted side of life
macliam
Posts: 11226
Joined: Thu Jul 18 2013 12:26pm
Location: By the Deben, Suffolk
Has thanked: 1630 times
Been thanked: 9281 times
Contact:

Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by macliam » Mon Feb 19 2018 3:36pm

kevinchess1 wrote:Just been to the cinema to see a documentary about tea
Had a PG rating
Was that "50 Shades of Earl Grey"? :eh:
Just because I'm paranoid, it doesn't mean they're not out to get me

kevinchess1
Posts: 23770
Joined: Mon Jun 28 2010 11:02pm
Location: Miles away from the sea
Has thanked: 12599 times
Been thanked: 17167 times
Contact:

Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by kevinchess1 » Thu Feb 22 2018 7:39pm

macliam wrote:
kevinchess1 wrote:Just been to the cinema to see a documentary about tea
Had a PG rating
Was that "50 Shades of Earl Grey"? :eh:

Christain felt his blood rising as he looked at his tea cup
'Anastasia' he yelled
'Yes Christian?' she mumered
'You put the milk in BEFORE the boiling water!' he yelled 'That's is so, SO wrong!'
he shouted as he hurled the tea cup at the wall. It broke on his gallows, the milk drip down onto his collection of antique riding crops
'I'm so sorry' murmur Anastasia facing him in her Vivienne Westwood little black dress
'Sorry SORRY' he yelled 'Sorry isn't enough' he said as he removed his belt
In a single movement Anastasia pulled the dress off over her head and let it drop to the floor 'I've been really naughty' she said standing there with only a red thong to cover her modesty
She pushed her thumbs into her fishnets suspender and whispered 'I need to be punish as she bent over the table, Her ercet nipple wer burning on the remains of Christian jam and toast
(To be continued, after my cold shower)
Thanked by: blythburgh
Politically incorrect since 69

kevinchess1
Posts: 23770
Joined: Mon Jun 28 2010 11:02pm
Location: Miles away from the sea
Has thanked: 12599 times
Been thanked: 17167 times
Contact:

Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by kevinchess1 » Sat Feb 24 2018 10:38pm

She asked me to 'Spice things up!'
So I replied 'So tell me what you want, what you really really want
Thanked by: missbishi
Politically incorrect since 69

kevinchess1
Posts: 23770
Joined: Mon Jun 28 2010 11:02pm
Location: Miles away from the sea
Has thanked: 12599 times
Been thanked: 17167 times
Contact:

Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by kevinchess1 » Sat Feb 24 2018 11:42pm

Are you bad at Curling?
Remember there’s plenty of broom for improvement
Thanked by: missbishi
Politically incorrect since 69

missbishi
Posts: 12
Joined: Fri Jan 27 2017 2:17pm
Has thanked: 28 times
Been thanked: 19 times
Contact:

Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by missbishi » Sun Feb 25 2018 12:26am

kevinchess1 wrote:Are you bad at Curling?
Remember there’s plenty of broom for improvement
Yes, you can always brush up on your skills :)
Thanked by: kevinchess1, Chadwick

Boro Boy
Posts: 5048
Joined: Mon Sep 15 2014 6:05pm
Location: London
Has thanked: 982 times
Been thanked: 2013 times

Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by Boro Boy » Sun Feb 25 2018 12:34am

missbishi wrote:
kevinchess1 wrote:Are you bad at Curling?
Remember there’s plenty of broom for improvement
Yes, you can always brush up on your skills :)
Yes, give 'em some stick!!! :D
Thanked by: kevinchess1

kevinchess1
Posts: 23770
Joined: Mon Jun 28 2010 11:02pm
Location: Miles away from the sea
Has thanked: 12599 times
Been thanked: 17167 times
Contact:

Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by kevinchess1 » Sun Feb 25 2018 7:14pm

The inventor of Velcro has just died :(

RIP
Politically incorrect since 69

kevinchess1
Posts: 23770
Joined: Mon Jun 28 2010 11:02pm
Location: Miles away from the sea
Has thanked: 12599 times
Been thanked: 17167 times
Contact:

Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by kevinchess1 » Fri Mar 02 2018 11:34pm

Last year, Exaggeration went up 15,000,000%
Politically incorrect since 69

kevinchess1
Posts: 23770
Joined: Mon Jun 28 2010 11:02pm
Location: Miles away from the sea
Has thanked: 12599 times
Been thanked: 17167 times
Contact:

Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by kevinchess1 » Fri Mar 02 2018 11:35pm

Q What the difference between Sunderland FC and a man with insomnia :?:

A Only 1 is staying up :?
Politically incorrect since 69

blythburgh
Posts: 17737
Joined: Tue Jun 29 2010 7:14pm
Location: The Far East
Has thanked: 35005 times
Been thanked: 6106 times
Contact:

Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by blythburgh » Sun Mar 04 2018 6:48pm

Mel walked in and asked for a pint of beer.

The lady behind the bar said, "you do know this is a library don't you?"

Mel blushed and whispered "can I have a pint of beer please"
Thanked by: kevinchess1, 1960mackem
Keep smiling because the light at the end of someone's tunnel may be you, Ron Cheneler

Locked

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 9 guests