Clean jokes - post 'em here

The light-hearted side of life
kevinchess1
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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by kevinchess1 » Thu May 31 2018 7:33pm

News just in.
A large amount of drugs including cocaine, heroin and ecstasy have been discovered behind a job centre in Sunderland.

Locals resident mackem said 'I'm in a state of shock, I didn't even know there was a job centre in Sunderland.' :?
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kevinchess1
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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by kevinchess1 » Mon Jun 04 2018 10:39pm

What ship will never dock in Sunderland?

The Premiership :lol:
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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by kevinchess1 » Mon Jun 04 2018 10:40pm

My mate's just moved, so I got him a set of radiators...
It's a house-warming present. :thumbup:
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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by kevinchess1 » Tue Jun 05 2018 10:03pm

I saw this advert in a window that said:

“TV for sale, £1, volume stuck on full.”

I thought, “I can’t turn that down.”
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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by kevinchess1 » Thu Jun 07 2018 12:14pm

I get so annoyed when people use words uncorrectly? :twisted:
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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by kevinchess1 » Sat Jun 09 2018 11:05pm

I bought a bottle of vodka in my local shop and it has gone up by 1p to £20.00. But I don’t care, I’m still gonna party like it's £19.99.
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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by kevinchess1 » Sun Jun 10 2018 4:36pm

Next week is International Caribbean Hairstyle Week........I'm dreading it!
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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by kevinchess1 » Tue Jun 12 2018 8:02am

AND my other wife is leaving me because I'm arrogant and smug and so sure of myself
I said "yeh right whatever don't forget to close the door on your way back in".
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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by kevinchess1 » Wed Jun 13 2018 8:06am

I burnt my hawaiian pizza last night.....I should’ve put it on aloha setting!!

(I'll ket Chadwick explain it)
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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by kevinchess1 » Wed Jun 13 2018 9:48pm

(Stealers wheels)

Strange beer to the left of me
Cheap biscuits to the right.
Here I am
Stuck in the Lidl with you!
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