Imutalites Tales from the daft side

The light-hearted side of life
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Re: Imutalites Tales from the daft side

Post by kevinchess1 » Fri Aug 17, 2018 8:34 am

WJ goes to the Doctors and says 'I think I'm addicted to Twitter..'

Dr: Sorry...I don't follow you...
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Re: Imutalites Tales from the daft side

Post by kevinchess1 » Thu Aug 30, 2018 12:09 am

"What have you done to your leg?" Asked mackem as I limped down road.

"I tripped and fell on my son's fidget spinner in the bath." I told him.

"I'm not sure what one of those is.." he replied.

"It's a big white tub that Southerners wash themselves in." I explained.
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Re: Imutalites Tales from the daft side

Post by kevinchess1 » Fri Aug 31, 2018 11:56 pm

I was watching a Zombie film and Luke says 'Why do you keep watching these type of film Kenny?'

'Well' I says 'I know it's unlikely and a real long shot but i feel it's right to be prepared, just in case!'
'Luke replies 'That the same reason I watch porn.'
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Re: Imutalites Tales from the daft side

Post by kevinchess1 » Sat Sep 01, 2018 7:34 am

On this day in 1940 Mel’s grandfather was responsible for the downing of 6 German Aircraft , with the death of 34 German Aircrew.
He was the worst aircraft mechanic the Luftwaffe ever had.
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Re: Imutalites Tales from the daft side

Post by kevinchess1 » Sun Sep 09, 2018 1:26 pm

As the crowd gathered around the crashed motorcycleist, Chadwick makes his way through the crowd yelling ‘Let me pass, get out of my way excuse me.’ ‘Are you a doctor?’ Someone asks ‘No but that’s my pizza.’
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Re: Imutalites Tales from the daft side

Post by blythburgh » Mon Sep 10, 2018 8:58 am

I am having trouble reading the posts on the forum.

I used to be bothered by the fog from Thunderfog ,now it is the noise from AAAlphaThunder that is so loud I cannot concentrate.
Keep smiling because the light at the end of someone's tunnel may be you, Ron Cheneler

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Re: Imutalites Tales from the daft side

Post by kevinchess1 » Thu Oct 04, 2018 8:05 am

Convince your colleagues you been working hard by lowering your tie knot 2 inches
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Re: Imutalites Tales from the daft side

Post by kevinchess1 » Sat Oct 06, 2018 10:09 am

Mackem : I want to divorce my wife.
Lawyer : On what grounds?
Mackem: She's out all night, every night, going from bar to bar.
Lawyer : Are you saying she's an alcoholic or do you think she's cheating?
Mackem: No, she's looking for me.
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Re: Imutalites Tales from the daft side

Post by kevinchess1 » Sat Oct 06, 2018 11:47 pm

IDSIS was in the kitchen the other morning cooking me bacon & eggs when I suddenly heard a loud thud. Running in I found her collapsed on the floor & not breathing. I had no idea what to do.

Then I remembered, Wetherspoons do an all-day breakfast for just £3.99.
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Re: Imutalites Tales from the daft side

Post by kevinchess1 » Sat Oct 13, 2018 7:35 am

Mackem’s 9 year old son says to him ‘My teacher says you’re a bad parent dad!’
Mackem replies ‘Right we will go and have a word with him as soon as we finish our pints.’
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