Clean jokes - post 'em here

The light-hearted side of life
kevinchess1
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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by kevinchess1 » Sat Dec 15, 2018 10:55 pm

Reminds me of that joke ‘what’s the difference between a large pizza and Mackem?’
‘A large pizza can feed a family of four!’
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kevinchess1
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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by kevinchess1 » Mon Dec 17, 2018 5:07 pm

Thank you, student loans, for getting me through university.

I don’t think I can ever repay you.
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kevinchess1
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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by kevinchess1 » Sun Dec 23, 2018 2:55 pm

I'm absolutely knackered from my French self-defence class last night.

I've never run so far in all my life.
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kevinchess1
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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by kevinchess1 » Sat Jan 05, 2019 9:00 am

SON: I was awarded the Leslie Nielsen badge at school today.

ME: What's that?

SON: It’s a big building with students, but that’s not important right now!
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gle1975
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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by gle1975 » Sun Jan 06, 2019 8:04 pm

I made a Christmas cake using my Mother's icing recipe. To make it I used Massaucepan.

We had octopus for Christmas dinner - everyone got a leg.
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kevinchess1
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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by kevinchess1 » Sun Jan 06, 2019 10:37 pm

I started a petition to ban people from collecting autographs.

So far I've got 5,000 signatures.
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kevinchess1
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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by kevinchess1 » Wed Jan 16, 2019 3:10 pm

I was looking at the pencils in our local stationary store when I said to the owner,

"2b or not 2b?"

"Think your funny,?" he said to me, "get out, you're bard "
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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by Chadwick » Wed Jan 16, 2019 6:18 pm

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i97FkO3d_lU

I promise this is safe for work, topical and amusing.
It's also less than 30 seconds long.
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kevinchess1
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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by kevinchess1 » Wed Jan 16, 2019 9:39 pm

Doesn’t time fly
Seems like only last month it was Christmas
And now it’s the end of May
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