Clean jokes - post 'em here

The light-hearted side of life
kevinchess1
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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by kevinchess1 » Wed Apr 24, 2019 9:46 pm

expressman33 wrote:
Wed Apr 24, 2019 10:18 am
So a kid walks in the house and says: " mommy, mommy, I found daddy". And the mother says: " stop digging around in the garden, and let you Father rest in peace.
Looked out the window to see the dog playing with my wife
I thought to myself 'I should have buried her deeper!'
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kevinchess1
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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by kevinchess1 » Thu May 02, 2019 8:07 pm

The man at the Polling station asked me if I knew how to vote!
He make me a little cross.
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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by kevinchess1 » Sat May 04, 2019 11:20 pm

I put a down payment on a time machine. Now I find it’s faulty :shock:

But there’s no going back. :(
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expressman33
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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by expressman33 » Wed May 08, 2019 6:00 pm

I can't believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off.
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Denant
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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by Denant » Sat May 11, 2019 7:34 pm

I've taken some of my cats medicine by mistake....
Don't ask me-ow
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kevinchess1
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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by kevinchess1 » Sat May 11, 2019 11:37 pm

Denant wrote:
Sat May 11, 2019 7:34 pm
I've taken some of my cats medicine by mistake....
Don't ask me-ow
:thumbup:
This joke is purrfect :D
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Boro Boy
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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by Boro Boy » Sat May 11, 2019 11:48 pm

kevinchess1 wrote:
Sat May 11, 2019 11:37 pm
Denant wrote:
Sat May 11, 2019 7:34 pm
I've taken some of my cats medicine by mistake....
Don't ask me-ow
:thumbup:
This joke is purrfect :D
No! no! it's Catastrophic!! ;)
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kevinchess1
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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by kevinchess1 » Sun May 12, 2019 9:32 pm

What goes Beep beep beep beep?

An open top bus reversing into Anfield
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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by rayf » Thu May 16, 2019 10:06 pm

Boro Boy wrote:
Sat May 11, 2019 11:48 pm
kevinchess1 wrote:
Sat May 11, 2019 11:37 pm
Denant wrote:
Sat May 11, 2019 7:34 pm
I've taken some of my cats medicine by mistake....
Don't ask me-ow
:thumbup:
This joke is purrfect :D
No! no! it's Catastrophic!! ;)
Definitely a paw joke ;)
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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by macliam » Fri Jun 07, 2019 9:18 pm

Siobhan had a terrible car accident when she was 3 months pregnant and ended up in a coma.

After six months, she wakes up, to discover she is no longer pregnant. So she asks the doctor about her baby.

The doctor replies "You had twins, a boy and a girl, but they were born prematurely and we had to baptise them immediately - so your brother Seamus named them."

"Sweet suffering Jesus, no, not me brother, he's a feckin eejit!!"

Expecting the worst, she asks the doctor for their names

The doctor says "Well your daughter is Denise"

"Thank the Lord!," says Siobhan, "I like the name Denise. I guess I was wrong about Seamus ..... and what's me son's name?"

The doctor looks a little sheepish..... "DENEPHEW!"
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