There was a huge traffic jam in Westminster and someone comes up to the car and taps on the driver's window.
"What's going on?" asked the driver
"Well, it seems Boris has been kidnapped by terrorists and they say that unless we pay a ransom, they'll douse him in petrol and set fire to him! So, we're going car to car and asking for donations...."
A man asked his wife "What would you do if we won the lottery?" , She replied " I'd take half and leave you " . "Great" he said , "Here's £12.50 , stay in touch ... "
A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption.
- One of them goes to a family in Egypt and his new family call him Amal.
- The other goes to a family in Spain, who name him, Juan.
Several years later, Juan makes contact and sends a picture of himself.
"I hope his brother gets in touch, too" She says, "I'd like to see how he looks now.
"They're twins!"," says her husband "If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal!!"
"Do you know your numbers, Sean?" says teacher
"I do, Miss" says Sean, "My Daddy taught me"
"So, what comes after Three", she asks.
"Four!", says Sean
"Good", she says, "and what comes after Seven?"
"Eight!", says Sean
"Very good - now what comes after Ten?"
"The Jack!", says Sean.......