Christmas jokes 2019

The light-hearted side of life
gle1975
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Re: Christmas jokes 2019

Post by gle1975 » Sat Dec 07, 2019 2:07 pm

Father Christmas gave me a tip to keep the vegetable patch weed free. Simply Hoe hoe hoe.
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gle1975
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Re: Christmas jokes 2019

Post by gle1975 » Sat Dec 07, 2019 2:12 pm

On the 12th Day of Christmas the election gave to me.....12 Lib Dem MPs.
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Re: Christmas jokes 2019

Post by macliam » Sat Dec 07, 2019 4:36 pm

Whenever I see the banners saying "Bom Natal" in Portugal, I remember the handwritten addition "and strafe Pretoria" I saw on my first visit to the Algarve, back in apartheid days........... :shock:

Nowadays, it's rarer to see such signs - they've been replaced by the transatlantiic "Boas Festas" (Happy Holidays)...... :shifty:
Just because I'm paranoid, it doesn't mean they're not out to get me

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Re: Christmas jokes 2019

Post by kevinchess1 » Sat Dec 07, 2019 8:56 pm

As one door closes, another door opens.
blythburgh and her Advent calendar
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Re: Christmas jokes 2019

Post by kevinchess1 » Mon Dec 09, 2019 7:45 pm

Luke 'Christmas these days is a lot like having sex, the build up is great but when it finally comes, I always regret spending all that money. :?
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Re: Christmas jokes 2019

Post by kevinchess1 » Wed Dec 11, 2019 8:33 pm

“Royal Mail requires staff to cover busy Christmas period.”

Sounds like Prince Andrew is back to his old ways this festive season. :?
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Re: Christmas jokes 2019

Post by kevinchess1 » Fri Dec 13, 2019 5:08 am

Darth Vader ‘I know what you’re getting for Christmas Luke.’
Luke ‘How?’
DV ‘I felt your presence.’
Luke ‘Groan that’s such a Dad joke.’
DV It’s funny that you say that.’
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Re: Christmas jokes 2019

Post by kevinchess1 » Sun Dec 15, 2019 10:25 pm

I’ve got a Microsoft advent calendar
Open more than 1 window and the all close again
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Re: Christmas jokes 2019

Post by kevinchess1 » Sun Dec 15, 2019 10:29 pm

‘Deck the halls and not your family
Fa a la la la la la la’
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Re: Christmas jokes 2019

Post by kevinchess1 » Mon Dec 16, 2019 7:10 pm

I;ve got a Travelodge advent calendar
cant open any of the windows
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