Clean jokes - post 'em here

The light-hearted side of life
kevinchess1
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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by kevinchess1 » Thu Jan 09 2020 4:28pm

You might not look slimmer
But you would weigh less
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rayf
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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by rayf » Thu Jan 09 2020 5:11pm

Chadwick wrote:
Thu Jan 09 2020 2:21pm
expressman33 wrote:
Wed Jan 08 2020 11:47am
Image
[Pendantry mode]

This doesn't work as a joke. It's supposed to be witty because of the dual meanings of the word appendix. But the context doesn't support it.

If you had an appendix removed, you wouldn't look slimmer.
If a book had an appendix removed, it would look slimmer, but that's the face value of the picture anyway. There's no second meaning when the other book says 'I look slimmer because I've had some pages taken out'.

[/Pendantry mode]
it made me smile :lol:
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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by kevinchess1 » Sun Jan 12 2020 9:13am

Cat puns freak meowt
I’m not kitting
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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by macliam » Sun Jan 19 2020 2:01pm

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Just because I'm paranoid, it doesn't mean they're not out to get me

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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by macliam » Sun Jan 19 2020 2:06pm

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Just because I'm paranoid, it doesn't mean they're not out to get me

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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by kevinchess1 » Tue Jan 21 2020 9:25pm

"Name?"
"George Orwell"
"Occupation"
"Essayist"
"Ah, Who dare wins"
"Pardon?"
"Don't worry Mr Orwell, your secret's safe with me"
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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by kevinchess1 » Tue Jan 21 2020 11:09pm

Please don’t take the Micky out of fat people,
They’ve got enough on their plate
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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by macliam » Wed Jan 22 2020 10:25pm

Dara Ó Briain wrote: If we were truly created by God, then why do we still occasionally bite the insides of our own mouths?
Just because I'm paranoid, it doesn't mean they're not out to get me

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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by macliam » Wed Jan 22 2020 10:26pm

Eric entered a local paper's pun contest.
He sent in 10 different puns, in the hope that at least one would win.

Unfortunately, no pun in 10 did.
Last edited by macliam on Wed Jan 22 2020 10:28pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by macliam » Wed Jan 22 2020 10:28pm

This Dutch guy with inflatable shoes got hit by a truck.

I tried to help him, but he'd popped his clogs......:(
Just because I'm paranoid, it doesn't mean they're not out to get me

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