Clean jokes - post 'em here

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kevinchess1
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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by kevinchess1 » Mon Feb 24, 2020 5:15 pm

Out of respect to our members from the North East, Please stop telling rubbish jokes about the unemployed.

None of them work
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macliam
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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by macliam » Wed Feb 26, 2020 4:45 pm

My neighbour came banging on my door early this morning.

He asked to borrow my mobile and when I asked why, he said "Boris has been in an accident on the A12 and is lying in the road!!"

"Why don't you use your own phone", I asked

......"because the camera's crap on mine!"
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Just because I'm paranoid, it doesn't mean they're not out to get me

macliam
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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by macliam » Thu Feb 27, 2020 7:42 pm

"How was your blind date?", one teenager asked another.

"Terrible!", came the reply "He picked me up in his 1968 Aston Martin."

"Wow - a classic! What's wrong with that?

"He was the original owner!" :shock:
Just because I'm paranoid, it doesn't mean they're not out to get me

macliam
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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by macliam » Thu Feb 27, 2020 7:50 pm

Padraig hated his wife"s cat so much he drove it to the next town and dumped it.
But, by the time he got home, it was back on the sofa.

So, the next day, Padraig drove it 50 miles away and dumped it.
But, by the time he got home, it was back on the sofa.

So, the next day, Padraig drove the cat to the other side of the country and dumped it.

An hour or so later, he rang his wife. "Have you seen the cat lately?", he asked.

"Yes," said his wife, "Kitty is sitting here on the sofa. Why?"

"Just put it on the phone", said Padraig" - "I'm lost!!!"
Just because I'm paranoid, it doesn't mean they're not out to get me

macliam
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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by macliam » Fri Feb 28, 2020 2:33 pm

Image
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Just because I'm paranoid, it doesn't mean they're not out to get me

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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by macliam » Fri Feb 28, 2020 2:34 pm

Image
Just because I'm paranoid, it doesn't mean they're not out to get me

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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by macliam » Sat Feb 29, 2020 8:39 pm

Image1.jpg
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Just because I'm paranoid, it doesn't mean they're not out to get me

kevinchess1
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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by kevinchess1 » Wed Mar 04, 2020 3:57 pm

I’d like to announce to Imutual, that I now identify as a roll on deodorant
And before you ask Yes I’m Sure
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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by macliam » Wed Mar 04, 2020 4:09 pm

kevinchess1 wrote:
Wed Mar 04, 2020 3:57 pm
I’d like to announce to Imutual, that I now identify as a roll on deodorant
And before you ask Yes I’m Sure
Just the one ball then? :eh:
Just because I'm paranoid, it doesn't mean they're not out to get me

kevinchess1
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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by kevinchess1 » Wed Mar 04, 2020 5:56 pm

So I was in the chemist and I said to the assistant
“What gets rid of coronavirus?”
She said "Ammonia cleaner."
I said "Oh sorry, I thought you worked here...”
Politically incorrect since 69

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