Clean jokes - post 'em here

The light-hearted side of life
macliam
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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by macliam » Sat Jul 18, 2020 3:06 pm

An almost new Porsche was advertised in the local paper - for £100.

Nobody could believe it, but Pat decided it was worth a try.

He phoned up and went to look at the car - a gleaming 911 with only 10,000 miles on the clock.

So he thought he'd be cute and asked the lady how much she'd take.

She said nobody else had shown any interest, so she'd accept £50.

Pat was amazed and immediately handed over the £50.

When the deal was done, he had to ask the lady why she was selling the car so cheaply.

"Oh," she said, "It belonged to my late husband and I'm just fulfilling the terms of his will..."

"....He said that the proceeds of its sale should go to his secretary"!!
Just because I'm paranoid, it doesn't mean they're not out to get me

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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by expressman33 » Sun Jul 19, 2020 2:18 pm

I played Madness and The Specials constantly every day whilst Raich was growing up...
Ska’d her for life
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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by macliam » Sun Jul 19, 2020 4:02 pm

expressman33 wrote:
Sun Jul 19, 2020 2:18 pm
I played Madness and The Specials constantly every day whilst Raich was growing up...
Ska’d her for life
Did you feed her Reggae Brek?
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AAAlphaThunder
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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by AAAlphaThunder » Mon Jul 20, 2020 12:49 am

Who's the coolest person in the hospital?

The ultra-sound guy!
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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by kevinchess1 » Mon Jul 20, 2020 9:13 am

AAAlphaThunder wrote:
Mon Jul 20, 2020 12:49 am
Who's the coolest person in the hospital?

The ultra-sound guy!
No it's the Hip replacement guy
Politically incorrect since 69

macliam
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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by macliam » Mon Jul 20, 2020 9:38 am

kevinchess1 wrote:
Mon Jul 20, 2020 9:13 am
AAAlphaThunder wrote:
Mon Jul 20, 2020 12:49 am
Who's the coolest person in the hospital?

The ultra-sound guy!
No it's the Hip replacement guy
No wonder the Dentist looks down in the mouth....
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Sarah
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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by Sarah » Wed Jul 22, 2020 4:21 am

"I saw this and thought of you (guys)..." (FREE for Kindle)
https://www.amazon.co.uk/1001-One-Liner ... 08CN98LR6/
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macliam
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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by macliam » Wed Jul 22, 2020 12:12 pm

Sarah wrote:
Wed Jul 22, 2020 4:21 am
"I saw this and thought of you (guys)..." (FREE for Kindle)
https://www.amazon.co.uk/1001-One-Liner ... 08CN98LR6/
We've used all those.... :shifty:
Just because I'm paranoid, it doesn't mean they're not out to get me

Chadwick
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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by Chadwick » Thu Jul 23, 2020 5:43 pm

Sarah wrote:
Wed Jul 22, 2020 4:21 am
"I saw this and thought of you (guys)..." (FREE for Kindle)
https://www.amazon.co.uk/1001-One-Liner ... 08CN98LR6/
I think Kev's already got it.
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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by expressman33 » Thu Jul 23, 2020 7:32 pm

Raich got really emotional at the petrol pump this morning.
I don't know why but she just started filling up.
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