Clean jokes - post 'em here

The light-hearted side of life
kevinchess1
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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by kevinchess1 » Thu Jul 23, 2020 11:44 pm

A National newspaper have just employed a deaf and dumb journalist
Sign of the Times
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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by kevinchess1 » Fri Jul 24, 2020 11:54 pm

I hate it when people get all intellectual and talk about Mozart.

I bet they've never even seen one of his paintings.
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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by kevinchess1 » Mon Jul 27, 2020 9:58 pm

A Cat has been tested positive for Coronavirus...

Paw thing...I hope it gets FURloughed? As I’m guessing it won’t be allowed Meowt for a while.
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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by macliam » Mon Jul 27, 2020 10:23 pm

kevinchess1 wrote:
Mon Jul 27, 2020 9:58 pm
A Cat has been tested positive for Coronavirus...

Paw thing...I hope it gets FURloughed? As I’m guessing it won’t be allowed Meowt for a while.
A purrfect summation. I'm sure it's not feline good
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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by kevinchess1 » Tue Jul 28, 2020 11:25 am

There are 2 types of people I hate:
1. People who find a way of putting animals into words
2. Hippocrites
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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by kevinchess1 » Tue Jul 28, 2020 7:34 pm

The government is saying, that if you survived COVID19, they want your plasma :shock:
I mean, do they think I'm stupid or something :?:
There's no frigging way they're having my TV :?
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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by xxxraichxxx » Wed Jul 29, 2020 7:02 pm

Just been offered a job at the local ice cream factory but I had to turn it down.

I don't like working on sundaes
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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by kevinchess1 » Sat Aug 01, 2020 12:10 pm

Somebody has stolen all the bus stop signs from our street.
where do these people get off?
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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by expressman33 » Mon Aug 03, 2020 10:46 pm

I didn't understand what my wife meant when she told me I was holding the bag of pasta upside down..
And then the penne dropped.
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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by kevinchess1 » Tue Aug 04, 2020 2:38 pm

I walk into a barbershop in Sunderland and asked for a perm.
Barber replied ‘I wandered loanlee as a clood .’
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