Over 18s jokes - post here

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kevinchess1
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Re: Over 18s jokes - post here

Post by kevinchess1 » Mon Jul 27, 2020 7:57 pm

The people who voted for Brexit wanted to stop immigration from Europe because they don't like Pakistanis #FrankieBoyle
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kevinchess1
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Re: Over 18s jokes - post here

Post by kevinchess1 » Tue Aug 04, 2020 1:10 pm

So,
COVID spikes in Blackburn, Leicester and Manchester.
And, what do these 3 places have in common? We all know, but the government is too 'PC' to say so
Well I'm not. and I don't care what anyone thinks of me, ALL these places are Premier League winners!
Don't worry blythburgh, you're completely safe in Norwich :thumbup:
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Re: Over 18s jokes - post here

Post by macliam » Tue Aug 18, 2020 12:45 pm

A couple drove to Tesco, but their car conked out as they entered the Car park.

"You go ahead and get the shopping", said the Husband, "I'll sort this out."

So the wife got what they needed and wheeled her trolley back to the car, to find a group of people around the bonnet. Then she noticed a pair of legs sticking out from under the engine, but the shorts weren't leaving anything to the imagination. Embarrassed, she bent down, put her hand up the shorts and tucked everything back into place.

Then she stood up and was surprised to see her husband standing there....

In the end, everything was OK. The car started first time, so there was no permanent damage. But the RAC mechanic needed three stitches in his forehead!
Just because I'm paranoid, it doesn't mean they're not out to get me

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Re: Over 18s jokes - post here

Post by kevinchess1 » Fri Sep 04, 2020 2:19 pm

'B-but the doctor told that sex over 60 was perfectly safe.' I stammered
'Yes but he wasn't talking about a moving car.' said the fireman cutting me free
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Re: Over 18s jokes - post here

Post by kevinchess1 » Sun Sep 13, 2020 12:42 pm

Luke 'I've been so looking forward to this resturant date, i've been saving up all week.'
Date 'That's so sweet. but i'll pay half.'
Luke' err... yeah... I wasn't talking about the bill. :shock: '
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Re: Over 18s jokes - post here

Post by kevinchess1 » Sat Sep 19, 2020 10:14 am

I went into a library and asked if if they had a book on coping with a small penis,

"It's only just in," said the librarian.

"Yeah, that's the one, " I replied.
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Re: Over 18s jokes - post here

Post by kevinchess1 » Mon Oct 19, 2020 3:25 pm

(In the library) '“Hello sweetheart, be an absolute darling and run along now and get me the latest book on Donald Trunp”

“Sexist, condescending bastard” she shouted.

“That’s the one” I replied.
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Re: Over 18s jokes - post here

Post by kevinchess1 » Thu Oct 29, 2020 11:03 am

Marcus Rashford scores a hat-trick in the Champions League - he must've had his Weetabix. :thumbup:

Unlike a lot of kids this half term. :(
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Re: Over 18s jokes - post here

Post by kevinchess1 » Sat Nov 07, 2020 11:31 am

The Yorkshire Ripper has Covid.

Must be like a hammer blow at his age. :?
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Re: Over 18s jokes - post here

Post by Chadwick » Sat Nov 07, 2020 8:57 pm

ELDERLY GENTLEMEN, prolong your election simply by accusing your partner of cheating.
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