Clean jokes - post 'em here

The light-hearted side of life
expressman33
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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by expressman33 » Thu Jul 15 2021 9:47am

I want to tell you about a girl that only eats plants.
You've probably never heard of herbivore.

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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by expressman33 » Thu Jul 15 2021 3:28pm

I got a Bonnie Tyler sat nav, it kept saying ‘turn around’ and every now and then it falls apart!
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macliam
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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by macliam » Thu Jul 15 2021 4:02pm

expressman33 wrote:
Thu Jul 15 2021 3:28pm
I got a Bonnie Tyler sat nav, it kept saying ‘turn around’ and every now and then it falls apart!
Sounds like the driver in the US
Cop "Turn Around"
Driver "Every now and then, I get a little bit lonely and you're never coming round"
Cop "Turn Around"
Driver "Every now and then, I get a little bit tired of listening to....."
Gets tasered :shock:
Just because I'm paranoid, it doesn't mean they're not out to get me

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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by expressman33 » Sat Jul 17 2021 1:26pm

Why shouldn’t you write with a broken pencil? Because it’s pointless
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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by expressman33 » Sat Jul 17 2021 1:27pm

What do you call bears with no ears?
B
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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by kevinchess1 » Sat Jul 17 2021 10:01pm

Who likes Roman numerals ?
I for one.
Politically incorrect since 69

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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by expressman33 » Tue Jul 20 2021 2:33pm

There’s a fine line between a numerator and a denominator. (…Only a fraction of people will get this clean joke.)
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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by expressman33 » Tue Jul 20 2021 2:33pm

When does a joke become a ‘dad’ joke?

When it becomes apparent.
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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by expressman33 » Thu Jul 22 2021 10:57pm

It's a 5 minute walk from my house to the pub.
It's a 45 minute walk from the pub to my house.
The difference is staggering.
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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by macliam » Fri Jul 23 2021 10:44am

It's Olympics time!

Why didn't Mexico win many medals at the Olympics?

Because their best runners and swimmers are in the USA.....
Just because I'm paranoid, it doesn't mean they're not out to get me

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