Clean jokes - post 'em here

The light-hearted side of life
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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by macliam » Wed Sep 22 2021 10:43pm

If you take the p out of a pirate, it will make him very angry.... :?
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macliam
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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by macliam » Wed Sep 22 2021 10:45pm

In democracy, your vote counts.

In feudalism, your count votes.
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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by macliam » Fri Sep 24 2021 12:05am

Welcome to Plastic Surgery Addicts Anonymous.

I see a lot of new faces here tonight.
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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by macliam » Fri Sep 24 2021 12:07am

After Johnny drowned, all his mates came to the funeral wearing life jackets.

Well, it's what he would've wanted.
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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by macliam » Fri Sep 24 2021 12:09am

My Dad used to say "Always fight fire with fire."

That might explain why he was thrown out of the Fire Brigade.
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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by macliam » Fri Sep 24 2021 10:12pm

My Doctor told me I might be going deaf, but I haven't heard anything since.
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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by macliam » Fri Sep 24 2021 10:13pm

Like other countries, Finland has just closed it borders.

Now nobody can cross the Finnish line.
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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by macliam » Fri Sep 24 2021 10:15pm

I though I had married Mrs. Right.

However, I didn't know her first name was "Always".
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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by macliam » Sun Sep 26 2021 6:10pm

What's red and bad for your teeth?

............a brick.
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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by macliam » Sun Sep 26 2021 6:12pm

I went to buy a new mattress.

The salesman was quite pushy, but I said I'd sleep on it...
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Just because I'm paranoid, it doesn't mean they're not out to get me

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