Over 18s jokes - 2012

The light-hearted side of life
sanity clause
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Re: Over 18s jokes - post here

Post by sanity clause » Fri Feb 24 2012 9:38am

I did a stand up comedy spot at the local old folks home last night.

They didn't understand any of the jokes, but pissed themselves anyway.
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Re: Over 18s jokes - post here

Post by HeadHunter » Thu Mar 01 2012 3:01pm

My doctor just told me I'm a compulsive liar.

Then she gave me a blow job in her office.
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sanity clause
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Re: Over 18s jokes - post here

Post by sanity clause » Fri Mar 02 2012 10:35am

Little Johnny got kicked out of class today.

The teacher asked him, "If I gave you £20 and you gave £5 to Jane, £5 to Claire, and £5 to Katie, what would you have?

Apparently, "3 blowjobs and enough left for a kebab" was the wrong answer...
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sanity clause
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Re: Over 18s jokes - post here

Post by sanity clause » Tue Mar 06 2012 10:36am

Mad Mary was whizzing round the mental hospital in her wheelchair when she was stopped by Crazy Carl.

"Licence Please" said Crazy Carl.

Mary Speeds off round the corner and bumps into Loony Leon.

"Insurance Please" says Loony Leon.

Off she zooms again until she's stopped by Donkey Dave, naked with an 8inch hard on.

"Oh No" cries Mary. "Not the breathalyser again"
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sanity clause
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Re: Over 18s jokes - post here

Post by sanity clause » Wed Mar 07 2012 9:42am

In an effort to be sexy, my girlfriend slipped a lollipop into her p**sy.

I said, "That's lovely, darling, but don't you need that to get those children across the road?"
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sanity clause
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Re: Over 18s jokes - post here

Post by sanity clause » Thu Mar 08 2012 9:15am

Answerphone message on the drugs hotline...

..."If you want to buy marijuana, press the hash key"
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Re: Over 18s jokes - post here

Post by HeadHunter » Thu Mar 29 2012 4:45pm

I organised a threesome last night. There were a couple of no-shows but I still had a good time.
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Re: Over 18s jokes - post here

Post by sanity clause » Fri Mar 30 2012 8:34am

Apparently, they've found a cure for dyslexia.

Well, that's music to my arse.
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Re: Over 18s jokes - post here

Post by HeadHunter » Fri Mar 30 2012 5:56pm

Tonight I'm going to one of those bukkake parties. I was a bit worried so I rang my insurance company about it. They've assured me I will be covered.
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Re: Over 18s jokes - post here

Post by Mel » Fri Apr 13 2012 10:35am

My friend asked his wife the other day
"Why have you got all those cookery and recipe books when you can't cook?"

She replied "Why have you got all those pornographic DVD's?"
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